- 3 months ago
- Wedding: October 2019
I have a coworker at work that is incredibly negative and mean towards me and for the longest time, I didn’t understand why. After a bit of googling and digging a bit deeper, I’ve come to the realization that the way she acts is due to her insecurities at work, and it all makes sense.
To be honest, I never liked her either due to her childish and immature ways of interacting with me but I have always kept it professional with her. For instance, we use slack as a big form of communication and every single time I have messaged her directly, I get either a super delayed response or no response at all. Same goes for email. When it comes to her messaging me about something, I have always replied to her in a timely manner, usually instant or if i’m busy then within the hour. However, if we are in a group channel (there’s one with myself, her, our CFO, and our co-founder) and if they were to ask something, her replies are always instant!
There is another issue I have where our CFO asked a question and @ herself and I after hours and I happened to be logged in, so I answered the question. The next morning, she messaged me a pretty snarky question about something else and the whole time, I was thinking “why is she asking me this all of a sudden?” and after thinking about it, can only associate it with the fact that I answered something “before” she did, and this wasn’t the only instance where this has happened. I feel like I’m unallowed to respond at work without her getting offended if she’s involved!
And sorry to say this, but she is the type that wants everyone to suck up to her and needs constant validation from others- which I refuse to give her. And to be quite honest, I feel like she has some type of control issue because she’s been with the company for 4 years and was an early employee.. and feel like she may feel some type of way towards me because the ceo and co-founder have been impressed with my work, and have openly praised me before. Sorry that I just keep to myself at work and get things done, instead of prancing around sucking up to people (ahem).
And we are now on the “same” team since I manage recruiting and she made the switch from product to managing people operations (hence, why we are part of certain slack group channels), and I feel like it’s getting worse because she has absolutely 0 background/experience in hr/people ops, and I have a bit of experience (8 in recruiting, which overlap to people ops and hr) so naturally a lot of times when there are questions, I usually have the answers to (but she doesnt like that! And probabaly thinks I am trying to “1-up” her which I don’t give a crap about!). It’s a bit suffocating when we have team meetings because I feel like I always have to watch what I say around her.
Anyways, I can go on and on about the issues with her but I’ll refrain.
I’ve tried to be respectful, professional, and have always answered nicely but I’m starting to get fed up with her rude/snarky comments towards me.
Anyone here have experienced anything similar, or know how to deal with this?