- 10 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
DH and I have been married for 8 months, and I suddenly find myself extremely jealous. Part of this is due to my past, and the other part is due to his recent job change.
I was married previously to someone who had a job working second and third shift. During the course of that marriage my ex cheated on me. I found him having an affair 4 years into our marriage, and later found out it wasn’t the first time. I felt so stupid, because I attributed a lot of his time that he was gone to him “working late” or he would go out after getting off of 2nd shift because he’d tell me he couldn’t just come home & go right to bed, and I’d already be asleep, so he went out for “some drinks with the guys.” Little did I know, a lot of that time was spent meeting other women, etc.
Fast forward to now…. DH is the most loving husband I could ask for. He, too, was married before and his ex walked out on him, but didn’t cheat on him that he’s aware of. DH recently changed jobs. He is a project manager and he now works for a company that works for very big name clients (think sports stars, team owners, managers, etc. Celebrity status people).
Anyway, he is very star-struck at the moment, and comes home talking about all of the awesome people he meets daily, and how this is his dream job, etc. Tonight he had a dinner meeting with his bosses and two of their clients. The client took them out on his boat for this dinner meeting, and he did not get home until 10 pm. DH called at 9 to say they had just docked, had to go get his car & he’d be home.
I have been so stressed, upset, etc. over this. When DH got home, I barely said anything to him, and basically just went to sleep. Now I’m wide awake & he’s sleeping, and I’m feeling so bad because I know that the reason I feel this way is because I’m scared that if he starts having all of these “meetings” after hours, etc, that they could end up leading to him cheating. This is completely irrational, as I know that he has very strong feelings against cheating, and that more than likely there weren’t even any women present at the meeting he was at. But, given my past history, I can’t stop the jealous & nervous feelings that I’m having.
How do I work past this, and stop from punishing DH for something that my ex did? I know we need to talk about this, but I also know that when I’ve tried explaining my feelings to him before he gets very upset if I “compare him to my ex”.
Hoping I’ll feel better after I sleep on it. 🙁