(Closed) Dealing With Mother!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

OK, are you paying for this wedding yourself? If so, just stop talking about it with your mom. It seems clear that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. 

As for the guest list, why do you need help inviting people who know you? It seems like if they know you, you should know them too, and want to invite them. If you are paying for it yourself, invite the people you want to be there.

Post # 4
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@JessicaJupiter:  Are you paying for the wedding yourself? If you are your mother is being absolutely ridiculous because your choices are beyond reasonably priced (it sounds like a tight budget!). Also, I think that you may find that your relationship may become even more strained if you include her in all your decisions because she is being harsh and somewhat ridiculous. Maybe ask her what her expectations are for involvement if she is paying?

Also, $10 for the wedding bands? Is that from Ardene’s or Claire’s? I don’t think you could even find that price in some of the mall stores …

Post # 5
45536 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry your Mom isn’t more supportive.Unfortunately you cannot change her behavior. The only thing you can change is your expectations. Don’t expect her to be excited and supportive and you won’t be disappointed.

Post # 7
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You can’t remember people that you want at your wedding? Sorry, that seems odd. Why don’t you make a list of the people you DO want there, that you can remember, and if you need an address or phone number ask your mother for that specifically, or use other means (Facebook, the phone book) to find it. 

Post # 8
1800 posts
Buzzing bee

Like PPs have said, I would stop discussing wedding plans with your mother as long as you are paying for everything yourself. A $300 dress and $150 for both rings is NOT a lot of money compared to what a lot of people spend on a wedding, so even if for some reason you don’t get married (not saying you won’t!) it’s not like you’ll be out tens of thousands of dollars like some people are. I think the main thing is that she should be happy for you no matter what. My parents really do not like my BIL at all, but they treat him nicely and have accepted him as part of the family. They realized that at 22 my sister was capable of making that decision for herself, so they let her. Your mom needs to grow up and just be happy for you and accept your relationship. 

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