Post # 1
Right after our wedding, I became pregnant. I mean, the first week after our wedding. Husband and I are both thrilled, but even we were a little surprised at how quickly we became pregnant (we are both “older” and I am overweight). I was nervous about telling some people, especially because we have friends who have been trying for a LONG time to get pregnant, and to be honest we did feel guilty that it happened so quickly for us.
Anyways, we have told everyone, and 99.9% are excited for us. Especially our friends that haven’t been able to concieve yet (which didn’t help the guilty feeling!). But we do have one couple that are not happy with us, and I don’t know how to deal with them, or what to say to them. They are good friends, and last year the wife even pulled me aside to say “you better have kids soon, because you two aren’t getting any younger” (in a nice way!). And this couple have 4 children of their own, and don’t want anymore children, so I don’t know/understand what they are upset about. Right now they are avoiding us, and almost refuse to talk about children or babies. And I know with the Christmas season coming up we are going to see them at a few parties and I don’t want their to be any akwardness.
Post # 3
How about not talk about babies? I’m sure there are many other things you can talk about that doesn’t involve your pregnancy. THere may be a reason why they are acting that way, that they haven’t felt like sharing with you yet. I would just act like nothing is any different and go on about your business
Post # 4
I honestly don’t talk about the baby unless someone asks me. And of course friends are asking/have asked, and we keep our responses rather short/generic “Yes, we are excited, yes it was a surprise, the baby is due ____”, and that’s it.
And I am sure/hope they have a good reason, I just wish I knew what it was so I could try to fix it.
Post # 5
Gotcha….is there anyway you can maybe call her and get together for a cup of coffee or something and ask her what’s up. You never know what could actually be the reason, but you are right, it would help out a lot to know what’s going on.
Post # 6
Do you know for a fact they aren’t happy with you, and that’s it’s because you’re pregnant?.. I just wonder if you’re adding 2 and 2 and making 5. Perhaps they’ve been busier than usual and have been a bit lax with communication/keeping in touch? Or if it’s more that they don’t talk about the baby/pregnancy, maybe they don’t realise this is an issue?
Otherwise, this is a tricky one; maybe they actually do want another child and can’t conceive? Maybe they don’t want more children, but feel a bit jealous seeing someone have a child, and wish they could have another/experience pregnancy/childbirth/raising a small baby again? Either way I’m not sure I’d broach it just yet, though if they’re still being funny in a couple of months, and you were close previously, I’d maybe ask if they’re OK as they’ve seemed a little off recently, and take it from there.
Post # 7
Maybe they are just having a bit of difficulty adjusting to the idea of our pregnancy? I know how hard it is when people don’t seem over the moon for you at first. I wouldn’t worry about it though, especially since you will be seeing them at holiday parties etc. The situation may very well work itself out.
Post # 8
You became pregnant very soon after your wedding…is it possible they think you became pregnant BEFORE the wedding and are upset about that for religious reasons or something? Or, perhaps they make it a point not to talk about people about the pregnancy during the early portion of the pregnancy in case something goes wrong?
Other than that, I agree with @barbie86 that are you are SURE they are upset with you, and SURE it’s about the baby, and not just them being busy or something? This is a very busy time of year for a lot of people, with school, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., and they have four kids and their activities to juggle.
Post # 9
eh, I have some friends that have been weird since I’ve become pregnant. Friends that I used to go out to dinner with all the time, that never ask or want to go anywhere with me these days. It sucks feeling excluded. But I think sometimes some folks just have a harder time seeing you move in a different direction in life and are maybe unsure of what to do? Not necessarily you personally but just the whole being pregnant-starting a family-etc. I’ve seen it happen with single friends. Like a forever single friend gets married and all of a sudden some of their friends don’t know what to do anymore because they’re not “the single friend”, lol.
Post # 10
@Miss Smurf: They might have something going on in their lives that is difficult right now… perhaps they had a “surprise” pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage, and they are dealing with that. Who knows.
I would probably approach them and say that you’ve noticed some distance and wanted to make sure everything was ok between you guys. If they say yes, then just act normal and follow their lead on whether they seem to want to talk about baby things or not. Over time, it might get better.