(Closed) dealing with others while TTC

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

You are not alone!!!  Darling Husband and I  have been trying for 10 months.  Our neighbor and my younger sister are both pregnant, and almost all of our friends have young kids.  Hang in there!!  Our time will come!  Think of the hand-me-downs!!!

Post # 5
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You are not alone in those feelings.  In almost a year of trying for us, it seemed like everywhere I went I saw pregnant women or new babies or was hearing of someone else who got pregnant so easily.  This includes both my sister and step sister with their second babies.  I knew at least one person that was due each month from last November all the way through July of this year (some months more than one).  It takes a toll on you emotionally, but you just have to remind yourself that it is perfectly natural to feel some resentment.  I had to remind my Darling Husband that I don’t want platitudes or him trying to “fix” it.  Just listen to me and sympathize.  Be there for me emotionally.  It isn’t like all of these babies burst out of the woodworks, more that I just hadn’t noticed before since I wasn’t ready.  Let those pregnant friends in your life know you are happy for them, but be sure and let out your emotions in the privacy of your own home.  Over time the resentment will lessen and you’ll be ready to hear about how things are for your friends.

Post # 6
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I know.  It really is so hard.  I can honestly say I do have hateful feelings toward my neighbor (not my sister since she is my sister, but I am jealous).  But my neighbor really pisses me off.  She was all like “ooops!!  this was unexpected!!”  SHUT UP!

In order to cope, I avoid my neighbor and I am elbow deep in planning my sister’s shower, which surprisingly has been a great distraction for me.  I am also trying to enjoy the things my husband and I can do without having kids.  Like, for instance, we can go out shopping for the entire day without packing a 40 lb bag and leaving stores with a fussy baby.  We can enjoy nice dinners out without having to hire a babysitter.  Someday we will look back and be glad we took the time to enjoy eachother just as a couple.

It is so hard not to hate pregnant woman.  It is tough in the grocery store when I see one.  I wish I had a magic answer, but all I can tell you is that you are not alone.

 

Post # 7
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I know it is frustrating. I spent the weekend with my best friend who is pregnant with an “oops” baby.  Parts of it were good, but sometimes it was hard. I kept hearing “are you sure you want kids? Once you have them you can’t do x, y, and z”. Um… I wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on fertility treatments if I didn’t!

I usually tell my husband that I just need to vent, he can’t fix it so just listen. Is there anyone else you can talk to about your frustrations?  I have a few close girlfriends that know we are TTC with fertility medication so it is nice to be able to talk to someone besides my husband.

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

What you’re feeling is totally natural and valid. I’ve been there. I’m still there. Hubbers and I had been trying for 18 months and had no luck. Got checked out and was told that we were both healthy.

ALL of our friends have kids. ALL of them.

People feel like it’s their right to know about your sex life, especially friends and family. It’s ridiculous! Now, the hubbers and I have decided to go the adoption route (for now, we will try again in the future) and people automatically assume that because we’re adopting, we just can’t have kiddies of our own. We don’t know if that’s true, but I really don’t think I should have to explain my sex life to anyone. And then friends and family think it’s comforting to say, “now that you’re adopting, you’ll probably get knocked up”. Really?! Thanks for that.

Eeep. Sorry for the vent. LoL.

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