(Closed) dealing with out-of-town guests who complain?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Well, we picked a Michigan wedding because we’re both from MI.  We want to have a wedding at home.  Michigan is gorgeous all year round.  I guess my love for MI is obvious.

 

What it comes down to is the fact that people will complain no matter where or when you get married. You just do what you gotta do.    There’s no stopping the complaining; you just learn how to deal with it.

Post # 4
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I ignore complainers. I HATE whining! I refuse to feed their complaining which seems to really bug them.

Post # 5
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Tell them they have two options:  accept or decline and that you’ll understand if they decline. 

I swear, people will complain about anything, eh?

Post # 6
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Other people should really have no say over where your wedding is.  Especially since it’s not “destination” just for the sake of it, but rather a place you like that’s on equal ground.  As far as the Friday thing goes, I totally get it (mine’s on a Sunday evening), but you are essentially telling people they have to miss work Friday, and some might not be able to.  We looked at our guest list and decided that pretty much everyone would be able to miss a day of work, and that we felt bad, but it was necessary.  For those who can’t/won’t, I (and you) just need to be understanding and gracious about the fact that they won’t be able to come.

Sounds like you’ll be left with only your true nearest and dearest, which should make for a great wedding!

Post # 7
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@BanditGirl: Yup. “We’d love to have you with us, but we’ll understand if you aren’t able to attend.”  I may have to start practicing that one, actually.

Post # 8
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i completely agree with Frog E. People are always going to find something to complain about. My wedding is on a Sunday so i totally hear you with this one.

Some of my friends who are travelling from afar are going to make a mini-vacation out of it by staying a few extra days to make it worth it.

It’s your special day, you have to do what’s best for you!

Post # 9
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am having my wedding in California and most of my family and friends are on the East coast. We wanted a destination wedding and would have had it in Europe but we decided to have it in the US but somewhere we absolutely love…Sonoma. When someone complains about going to Sonoma and how we should have had our wedding in a place that was convenient that particular guest.

I tell them “we are not opposed to having our wedding at place xyz said person just need to pay for it, plan it, and let us know when and we will show up. However, the real wedding will be in Sonoma and they don’t have to show up”. 

Usually, that shuts them up. I think it is extremely rude for people who aren’t paying for something to complain just respond no. It actually saves me money when less people show up.

Post # 10
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What @Frog E. said: Just keep practicing your response (with a sweet smile on your face)… “We’re so sorry. We completely understand if you can’t make it.”

 

Post # 12
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@buttontoes: Where in Michigan are you getting married? If you say Traverse City/Leland I will be so jealous.  I’m getting married in East Lansing, ugh

Post # 14
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

@Meealissa:  Our hometown is about an hour from Traverse City.  We’re getting married on Fi’s parents’ farm outside of Gaylord (Since you’re from Michigan, there’s a chance you know where that is).  The only problem with getting married in Gaylord is that since it’s so small, we’re really limited on choices.  We have 1 option for a caterer.  We have 1 option for a rental company, unless we go to Petoskey.

I love Traverse City.  We talked about moving there after I finish law school, but we decided to go to Colorado instead.

Post # 15
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If they are commplaining about traveling to go to your wedding, why would you want them there? It is obviously not a priority for them.

I guess you could do one of two things, if these people are special to you. Have your wedding where you want, then have a party for them later, or…just let them not come.

Soemtimes a trip is a lot for people financially, so if that’s it, that’s one thing…but if they are truly complaining and just being annoying, I would think you’d be better off without them there!

Post # 16
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@buttontoes: I know exactly where that is!  One of my bridesmaids lives there.  It’s too bad about the limited options but I’m sure everything will turn out just fine & pretty. 

Traverse City but it might be one of those hit-or-miss placeswhen it comes to actually living there.. My brother lives up there and he likes it just fine but I think the crowded summers drive him crazy. 

The topic ‘dealing with out-of-town guests who complain?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors