Dealing with Post-Wedding regret

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2702 posts
Sugar bee

Is this a joke?

Post # 3
1989 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

bahhwedding22 :  you’re never going to have enough photos or one of your key photos isn’t going to compare to someone else’s key photo. I loved our photographers and paid for a full 8 hours of photography. I don’t love all our photos. I don’t think our first kiss photo is that great, I don’t like the photos of me walking down the aisle. But I have lots of other photos that I didn’t count on getting that are beyond what I imagined.

Things aren’t always going to go the way you planned so you need to see what you got that you weren’t expecting.

Also it’s just because you’re a few weeks out and want to relieve the details. In a few months, the memories, the people, photos of people will be more important than a picture of your shoes. I have the shoe photo and it looks like every other shoe photo. What nobody else has a photo of is my flower girl lying on the floor, poofy skirt over her head, my aunt crying as I walked down the aisle, my in-laws looking on as we got married so proud and happy. In time they’ll become more important.

Post # 4
131 posts
Blushing bee

mrsaime :  Well that was mean and not helpful. 

OP, I think it’s pretty normal to have regrets about little things. Weddings take so much planning and so much money, it’s easy to really build it up in your head. I think as time goes on you’ll stop caring so much about these photos you regret not getting. 

Post # 5
5565 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

There really isn’t anything you can change though, what does it matter if others think it’s an important thing? 

It wasn’t important enough at the time for you to pay for and that’s fine. You can’t go back and get that time back, just because you didn’t take photos of it doesn’t mean you didn’t experience it. You just need to move on. 

Post # 6
8548 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Honestly, in the grand scheme of life those photos don’t matter.. They are inanimate objects. Treasure the photos you do have. Photos of you in your dress, photos of your loved ones. 

Post # 7
4092 posts
Honey bee

Why don’t you bring the dress, shoes, jewelries, etc to your photographer’s studio and have them take some detail shots?bahhwedding22 :  

Post # 8
1636 posts
Bumble bee

 I feel like I only really want them because everyone else has them. 

This is likely it. I don’t care for these types of photos myself – they are just objects and to me look like an advertisement selling the dress/shoes.

Post # 9
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you are missing the forest for the trees here.  You had a lovely wedding and lovely photos!  The most important photos are the photos of people you love.  It’s hard to come down from the excitement of planning and executing a wedding.  But there is no point in looking for something to be disappointed about.  Think forward to the next exciting thing in your life to plan.

Post # 10
72 posts
Worker bee

Do you want them for yourself, or so that you can add to your album on social media so other people can see you have the same type of photos? Because if it’s the latter, I would say who cares. I usually skip past these pictures in people’s albums and go to the actual wedding/reception photos anyway. 🙂

Post # 11
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

bahhwedding22 :  it’s easy to look back after all is said and done and wish you’d done this or wish you’d done that. I see others post their wedding pics and sometimes I find myself comparing mine to theirs. But then I stop and think about what a wonderful day we had! I was so happy! The day was beautiful. Lots of close family and friends celebrated with us. It was perfect! I’ll always remember how I felt on that day despite the things I wish I had done differently. I have a feeling that the way you’re feeling right now will subside in time. 

Post # 12
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m sure most every bride thinks of how they could have tweaked the wedding day a bit…after it’s over… weather that be pictures, time frame, shoe choice, the guest list, the length of the ceremony etc…. but the thing to remember is you can’t change it, and there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it! Honestly .. I had a relative as a photographer (building their portfolio) and I loved every picture except the getting ready moments. The wedding isnt about getting ready anyways… sure it’s a fun idea to have those pics but I’d be focused more on the actual wedding photos at this point! Maybe down the road you could do a photo shoot and include some getting ready photos

Post # 13
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I purposely did not have any getting ready photos, not because of cost, but quite frankly, I don’t like them.  Every one I have seen has either looked like it’s completely staged, and not genuine in-the-moment at all, or someone has a goofy face or not a flattering pose.  I didn’t do the shoe or hanging dress pictures either.  The only one of my dress is where it was hanging and my little flower girl niece was hiding underneath it.  I didn’t even know that happened until I got the pictures back.

It’s very easy to compare since you just got married, but trust me, in time you won’t.  And the fact that you wanted these pictures just because everyone else does to me shows that you’re too worried about others opinions.

Enjoy the fact that you had a beautiful wedding.

Post # 14
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

So I got the type of photos you’re describing. They were part of my package as a whole (I didn’t pay any extra for them) and while they certainly looked nice, I can’t tell you the last time I actually looked at the photo of just my dress . I got married over 3 years ago and it’s simply just not an important picture of that day. 

Give it some time. Trust me. This will not seem like a big deal in a month or two. 

Post # 15
189 posts
Blushing bee

I actually hate the hanging dress photo. Dresses look so lifeless while on the hanger, and a lot of photographers put them in a window so they look weirdly see-through. Personally I think it does most dresses a disservice to be viewed that way, they look so much better on! 

I got the “full package” of pictures and picked out my favourite few, and those are the only ones I really look at. If the only reason you regret it is because other people have it, don’t worry, that will pass. Focus on what you do have, and get your favourites framed! 

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