(Closed) Dealing With SO's Depression/Relationship Doubts

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
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25 posts
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  I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and I never left someone because of either reason. I have probably unwittingly sabotaged the harmony of some of my past relationships because of the negativity that these conditions bring, but I’ve never intentionally ended a romantic relationship with someone I wanted to be with due to anxiety or depression. While I’m not saying this can never be the case, I think “doubts” are categorically different. My ex ended things with the firmly held belief that things would never work out. The problem is, the more you try to convince him, the more likely the belief will change to a conviction that he will convince himself of, rightly or wrongly. From experience, I’d say give him a lot of space to think things through on his own. Don’t try to persuade, and don’t plead. You can be kind if he contacts you, but don’t be a pushover and don’t be eager to return to a relationship with someone who is willing to put you over a barrel in this way. Think about it this way: what will guys like this do when there are actual life problems coming your way? (Major illness, unemployment, death, family issues). I unfortunately know all too well the desire to make excuses for these kinds of  guys, but really you’re just inviting yourself to get hurt again. People like this are weak and self-centered, and you should start to view people who aren’t willing to discuss their problems and take the time and do the work together as undesirable. Best wishes.

 

 Edited to clarify: Suffering from depression or anxiety doesn’t  make someone weak and self-centered. These are human feelings that most people encounter that need to be dealt with in life. It’s how your guy handles these feelings (leaving you, causing major damage to your relationship) that is undesirable and speaks to character and inability to deal with life.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  incognitobee3.

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