(Closed) Dealing with 'takers'

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

saschasoulrebel: no — I developed healthy boundaries and give what I’m comfortable giving and stop things right there when people try to take. 

If they have a problem with my position or approach, they can move along or we can hash it out to get aligned. I’m happy moving along though if someone isn’t respectful of boundaries. 

Post # 3
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Growing up I was always in the habit of giving all I had, and never taking in return and people used to take advantage very often of my nature.

In the last 10 years I have become more aware of my habits, in the last 5 I have been learning to expect beter for myself and to expect mutual reciprocation from relationships. I no longer have any qualms walking away from friendships that are unhealthy or uneven. Especially when the friend/person is so selfish that they dont think their abuse of my kindness is a bad thing when I try to discuss it with them like adults. 

Im proud of how far Ive come and look forward to working hard to continue to improve my life and the quality of people I surround myself with. Im also proud to still be a generous person with those who deserve it from me as I didnt have to become “hard” to be happy.

Post # 4
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

When I was younger, I used to devote most of my time trying to keep those around me happy. I’d give them the shirt off my back, buy them food, give them rides, ect. In the end, when I needed help with things, really large things that only required them to be there for me, nobody was ever around.

I no longer invest time into those I feel just aren’t worth it, and it took me many years to get to the point to where I could tell people no. There will always be people who are looking to take advantage of others, you just need to figure out who your true friends are and weed out all the false friends.

Post # 5
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


I used to collect needy people like stamps. All it led to was being bled dry emotionally and feeling drained all the time. I was often chosen for abuse and bullying because I was so meek and sweet. My weak boundaries led to people taking advantage of me and then stabbing me in the back because they were using me for their own gain. 

Now my boundaries are very strong. I do not feel the need to save others from their problems all the time instead of focusing on my own problems. I walk away from any kind of unhealthy familial or platonic relationships and I stand up for myself more. Those who could mistreat me in the past hate the person I am now but IDGAF.

I also notice that I no longer feel the need to choose “friends” who are constantly needy. We all need a shoulder to cry on and that’s fine but I don’t want any more friendships that are defined by me always helping. I am still giving but only to those who are appreciative and understand that relationships are reciprocal. I also no longer share information that can be used to hurt me later. 

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