Post # 16
mrshmc1204 : I would sit down with her in the break room, tell her you’re worried about her issues with food security and offer to help her with applying for food stamps. Bring all the forms with you and be enthusiastic. Someone who thinks they’re too good for public transit will be mortified and forced to admit things aren’t that bad.
Just say no. She needs a ride? “Sorry I can’t, but Line 51 stops on ABC Street not too far from your house in the mornings. Maybe you could post a flyer in the office about making a carpool circle?”
She wants you to take her out for lunch or give you half of yours? “Sorry, I only brought enough food/cash for me.”
She wants to switch shifts? “Sorry I can’t.” Shrieks about leaving? “I heard ____ is hiring, I’m really sorry your hours aren’t more flexible, that sucks. Too bad we don’t have a private company bus like Google!”
She’ll figure out the well has run dry and will look for someone else to leech off of.
Post # 17
I know you are probably just trying to be nice, but for your own sake you need to say NO! It is not fair that you are late to work to accommodate her. Don’t get yourself in trouble for her, especially at a new job. She is not your problem. I would just focus on your own job and politely say no when she asks.
Most jobs require you to have transportation to and from work before they hire you, so I am assuming she lied about that on her application. At least for me, I have had multiple job applications ask me to check a box to ensure I had proper transportation. If she cannot make it to and from work, it is no one else’s problem other than hers. I take my career very seriously, and I would NEVER jeopardize my reputation at work for someone else. What if you taking her to work makes it so she gets a promotion over you? A new job is not something to risk being late for someone else.
Unfortunately, you set a precedent with her that you will be there for her when she needs things, and it sounds like she is taking advantage of it. It will continue to get worse and she will probably start asking for more and more handouts unless you stand up to her now and put an end to it.
Post # 19
Yeah, there was a guy like that at my work always bumming rides off of people because he got a DUI, but he wouldn’t give them gas money and just expected them to help out (he lived 30 mins out of the way, I lived right around the corner from work, so he only asked me once and I only did it once). Just say you can’t help and stick to your guns, if she needs to ask you why than she is being intrusive and rude.
Post # 20
Your ‘no’ doesn’t require an explanation – “Can I have a ride?” “No.” “Can I have some of your lunch?” “Nope.” “Can we switch shifts?” “Not happening.” It really is that simple. You are under no obligation to her getting to and from work, eating, anything.
Post # 21
No, you are not being a jerk and you are not responsible for being her chauffeur or her mommy. Just say no! She is taking advantage of you. She needs to look after her own responsibilties. End of story.
Post # 22
Just keeping saying no to her, and she’ll move on. Being able to get yourself to work and feed yourself are pretty basic adult things, and it’s not your responsibility to solve those problems for her. Next time she complains, you should suggest she talk to her boss or HR about a payday loan or changing her hours. There are actionable solutions here. My guess is she doesn’t want to hear it.
Post # 23
Thank you everyone for reaffirming I’m not a jerk. 🙂 Lately I have been saying flat out NO to her requests and its left me in an awkward position where she is rude to me for the rest of the day. I’m not sure if I should speak to management about this or what because she will move onto someone else to mooch off of and I don’t think it’s appropriate at all for work.
She refuses to take the bus because the stop is a few blocks from her house and she doesn’t want to walk blocks home. That’s exactly what she told me.
She has food stamps but insists on buying her lunch every day (so about $10×5 days per week…)
Post # 24
She asked me for a ride home today and I flat out said no. She went on about how she can’t rely on anyone for a ride and will probably look for another job. She is 30, she should not be relying on anyone!!!
Post # 25
Honestly, she SHOULD look for another job if she can’t figure out reliable transportation for this one. I wouldn’t talk to management about it, it sounds like she’s not long for this job anyway. Just let her keep digging her own hole.
Post # 26
I had a coworker like this in the past, not with asking for money or rides, but switching/covering shifts with/for her. I covered, over the course of a year, dozens of shiftsf for her, almost always last minute.
How many times do you think she covered for me when I needed it? Zero. She even had the nerve to ask me to cover a shift for her on my one and only day off out of 13 days, the only full day I’d have with my husband before I moved to another state ahead of him to set up our new lives and not see each other for 3 months.
She had a job as a nanny, that paid better and she liked more, and turns out her excuses ranging from being ill to her dad in the hospital were all a bunch of crap she used when no one would switch shifts with her so she’d call in “sick”. Found out when a mutual coworker who lived in the same building as her was leaving for work and bumped in to her, and he asked why she wasn’t at work, and she told him not to tell, but the nanny family asked her to come in but no one would take her shift so she just called in sick. I had previously declined to switch shifts since I had a prior engagement , but got called to see what I could cover, so I went in after my event was over (which was about 2 hours in to her shift), mutual coworker looks at me funny and said he thought I had the day off, told him “X” called in sick and boss said we were short staffed (Loved my boss, so was willing to bend over backwards for her), and he spilled the beans.
Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson about not allowing myself to be taken advantage of, and declined to ever cover or switch a shift again for that girl.
“No” is a complete sentence, and like others have said, use it. You owe her nothing, and maybe this will be the push she needs to get herself straightened out.
Post # 27
Tell her to talk to the boss/management about her issues.
Post # 28
Figured I’d update this thread.
So I mentioned here that she wanted to take my shifts and I told her “no.” Well she went behind my back to the managers and had them switch the shifts!! I confronted my manager and he said she never told him she talked to me about it. It looks like he’s not gonna change it back, but this pissed me off because she went behind my back!
Post # 29
And I agree that she shouldn’t work at our place if she doesn’t have reliable transportation. It’s not fair to punish other employees and make them pick up the slack because she doesn’t have a car… Most companies require you to have a car but I work for a nonprofit so I guess they’re more understanding.
Post # 30
As PPs said
– she does not sound nice at all, just manipulative.
– she acts like you are responsible for her wellbeing and totally disregards making changes that could improve her OWN life (e.g. cutting sodas, cigarettes, taking the bus).
She has the same job you do.. it’s possible that she’s somehow gotten in to some sort of financial mess that isn’t solely due to her spending habits, but having known people like this myself I tend to doubt it.
In any case, I think what you’re doins is right. You know your boundaries, stick to them. If she has loud tantrums at work that’s her own problem.