(Closed) Dealing with the distance

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

How long have you been long distance? Do you have a plan for how to be together again? A timeline for when that will happen? I promise you it does get better, and if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel it is so much easier to be apart.

Fiance and I were long distance for 2.5 years, so I know just how you feel. All you can do is try to live for the moment and know that wherever he is, he’s thinking about you and loving you. Don’t lose your personality and passion for life that he fell in love with. Stay strong.

When you’re together again, those years of heartache will seem like nothing. Trust me on that.

Post # 5
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@sleepyrebel: Don’t feel guilty. Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish! Selfish would be allowing yourself to wallow in self pity (believe me, I did plenty of that!). By getting yourself out and trying new things you are actually benefiting those who love and care about you. You said it yourself, you’re spending time bonding with your friends and family. They are happy to see you living life to the fullest. And all these new things you’ve learned can be shared with others.

I repeat, you are not being selfish!! Keep doing your best and good luck with your triathalon!

Post # 6
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve been there. It’s tough. Consider (if you haven’t already) opening up to your family and friends about how down  you feel. They’ll appreciate your honesty, but more importantly they’ll try to support you.

Plus: those activities and people who just feel like distractions now can sneak up on you and get meaningful when you’re not looking. 🙂 Take care of yourself, ask for help when you need it, and try to find the beauty, love, and meaning taht I know is in your life. This time will pass.

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Long distance can definitely be hard! My fiance and I have been long distance our entire relationship as well, and although it’s only an hour, with crazy schedules and the distance on top of that, it makes it so hard to get together sometimes. Keeping yourself busy and finding new hobbies definitely can help pass the time! I also think that being long distance makes you truly appreciate your time that you do have together, and appreciate the relationship itself more.

Things do get easier 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

Kudos to you for being a military girlfriend. . .I don’t think I could do it!  You’re one strong woman for sure!

SO and I are in an LDR, but fortunately we’re just in different parts of the world doing our own thing and we get to talk a few times a day!

I’m sorry that you’re feeling down.  Can you write/email him when you’re thinking of him?  Sometimes that helps. . .if he or I are too busy to chat during the day, I’ll send him a quick text or email just to let him know I’m thinking of him.  That generally helps me.

 

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I always felt like distracting myself was key. My husband was military also and i spent a solid chunk of 4 years “forgetting” and “distracting” myself with college, then grad school, then wedding planning, then friends, etc etc. You gotta do what you gotta do to keep you going. Otherwise, i feel like you dwell on the bad things and how bummed you are he is gone, and that is just a downward spiral into depression land. We only used to talk for 30 minutes every saturday morning–and the “in betweeN” really was just that–time that got me distracted between saturdays. It is what it is….i have little advice, exept i know where you are coming from, i did it myself, and sometimes it felt very strange, but i just pushed through and about 4+ years later it was all worth it =] 

Post # 12
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@sleepyrebel:  It’s by choice because I’m studying out of the country.  On top of that, we’re originally from different parts of the country.  Hopefully, though, everything will change next year!

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