(Closed) Dealing wtih tragedy during wedding reception

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

take away the sadness, and try to see that he was at your wedding, having a great time and left in a blaze of glory celebrating his granddaughter’s marriage.

Post # 18
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am so deeply sorry for your loss *hugs* I think that in a situation like this, you have to focus on the positives… that he was able to attend your wedding, that he was dancing with you on the happiest day of your life, that he was proud of you, that he loved you, and that he was happy and surrouded by people whom he loved and who loved him also.  It’s never easy to lose someone that you love, especially in circumstances like this, but I have to believe that given the choice between this and something long and drawn out or maybe painful, I would wish this for my loved ones, even if the timing wasn’t the best.

Right now it is fresh and painful, especially because you have lost someone you love. In time, I hope you will be able to look back at your special day and remember the best parts of it- marrying your love and making happy memories with your grandfather. Embrace the memories of the joyous part of the day, and try not to dwell on what happened after that last dance. *hugs*

While my story is so minor in comparison, I had a medical emergency on my wedding night (for my first marriage.) Soon after arriving at the honeymoon suite, I had to call an ambulance for my new husband and we spent the night in the emergency room, where I had to sign my new name for the first time on his release papers at 3 am. He ended up being fine, but I was shaken up and upset, and it didn’t feel real when it was happening. Everything else had gone so well, I didn’t understand how things could turn so wrong. It did take me a while to turn that memory into something positive, and I didn’t go through nearly what you have, so be patient with yourself. Time does heal, and your wounds are still new. Listen to the people who are telling you about how beautiful your wedding was and how happy your grandfather was; they were there and they would know. 🙂 And in your heart, you will know one day too.

Best of luck hon, this will get easier. I think talking about it is a very good step.

Post # 19
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mrscash:  I am sorry to hear abour what happened *BIG HUGS* 🙁

You’re right that he was super happy when he died… and at least he didn’t suffer.

I don’t really know what to say, just wanted to say I am sorry.

Post # 20
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My grandmother committed suicide 3 weeks before my wedding.  She had mostly untreated borderline personality disorder and because of that we were never that close but I know it affected my parents more…frankly we think the wedding in a selfish, twisted way prompted her to go through with something she’d threatened many, many times in the past (–I’m also not saying all suicides are selfish, but with BPD and my grandmother’s case in particular it comes off that way, even in the damn police report it was noted).

A friend married shortly before me had her uncle died of a heart attack at her reception.  They actually somehow managed to hide it from the bride and groom (it was the VERY tail end of the reception, and he staggered out of the main reception room with his wife before collapsing).  The groom was told after the reception but her parents begged him not to say anything until after the honeymoon so that she could still enjoy it and to prevent ‘tainting’ the memory of the wedding day.  I don’t know if this is a great strategy for everyone but I do think it seems to have worked well for them.

Post # 21
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

(((((HUGS))))) Honey I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m going to add +1 to the fact that he died while immensely happy celebrating with you and family on a joyous occasion. Isn’t amazing the way timing works? Clearly it was his time to be called up, but he was given such a beautiful and happy send off. Hold on to that in your heart and know that he’s smiling an extra big smile while looking down on you today.

If you think it would be helpful and healing to have a closure type event, I think it would be a great idea. You could have a laid back bbq or some sort of similar vibe, thank everyone for being a part of your special day, share stories about your grandfather, and maybe instead of a sendoff for you and your DH, you could do something like release butterflies as a symbolic gesture. 

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