(Closed) Dear Abby letter re: vow renewal

posted 6 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: Do you agree with the letter writer's view of vow renewals?
    Yes : (18 votes)
    55 %
    No : (15 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Hmm.  Well, I suppose I think of couples who’ve gone through a rough period as those who decide to renew their vows as opposed to couples who simply celebrate their anniversary. 

    I mean, to each their own.  If a vow renewal makes a couple feel closer, more power to them!  Who am I to judge what a vow renewal means to anyone.  🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t agree or disagree with the letter writer. Those are his feelings, and they are valid, as are those who choose to renew their vows for whatever reason. I think he makes good points, but I also think it’s adorable when a couple renews their vows after 10, 25, 50 years. It’s just nice to see the love they feel for eachother on the surface.

    Post # 6
    Member
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Eh, the letter writer is welcome to his feelings, but I don’t feel the same way. My husband and I are going to renew our vows next year (we’ll be married for three years by then).  We’ve spent the last nine months dealing with my breast cancer. By the time we renew, I’ll (fingers crossed!) have a clean bill of health and a full head of hair again. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate moving on to better times in our relationship after the dark cloud this year.

    The letter writer seems to imply that you’d have to have some kind of flaw in your relationship in order to renew your vows. I don’t think our vow renewal cheapens our original vows in any way–I think it’s just a great way to celebrate our love lasting through so many difficulties.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I can totally see where the letter writer was coming from. The tough times are expected just as the good times are and you express the first time you take the vows that you’ll endure no matter what. I love how he says his love and devotion are so much more now then they were then. They’ve been together 50 years (!!!!!!). I think vow renewal is cute and no each their own, but I see where the guy is coming from.

    Post # 9
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I see the both points, but I have always looked at it as a gesture that says “Id marry you all over again”

    Post # 11
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I never really saw the point of vow renewals until my former boss had one for his 60th anniversary.  He had many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  Some who had been divorced and it was his way of “being proud of his marriage.”  He also told me that it meant a lot to him and his wife to be there with the “fruits of their loin” b/c the original people at their wedding had all passed on.  I understood why after he told me that and it is a pretty awesome accomplishment to be married that long. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I see both sides, but I’ve always leaned towards not to renewing because, as Miss Manners says, it implies that there is an option NOT to renew. Like, at some anniversary where vow renewals are common, you could just say “Well, honey, our contract is up. I’m outta here”

    I always thought that vow renewals started as a way to help couples that had gone through more than just a “rough patch”…that they had somehow broken their vows, so they actually NEEDED renewal. Like if one partner cheated, breaking their vow to be faithful to their spouse. Then they reconciled, worked through it, and used a vow renewal to repair the trust and get a fresh start.

    So I always associate vow renewals with someone having broken their vows in which case I hope never to have one.

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