(Closed) dear big sister: please be a big sister!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have the same kind of situation, but with a big brother who acts about 10. I’m not in your situation with TTC but good luck, and it sounds like you know what you are doing, I’m sure you’ll be fine 🙂

Post # 4
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think we have the same older sister…it amazes me how someone can grow up right next to you and be completely opposite from you and unsupportive no matter how much you try.  And yet, her opinion somehow means more to me than anyone else’s and her lack of support and evilness cuts harder than anyone else’s.

Post # 6
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

That sucks that your sister can’t just be adult enough to hold her negative opinions to herself and shut her mouth. But at this point in your life, I would say just lower your expectations of her as a big sister and she will probably stop hurting you as much. It hurts because you yearn for a positive response or a word of encouragement, which is the expectation. Without that expectation and the knowledge of her realistic response you don’t open yourself up to being hurt by her. I learned that the hard way with my father who never acted like “the other girls’ father’s” and was always disappointing me with his answers and opinions on things. Finally my mom and a therapist just told me that I need to stop having certain parenting expectations for him and eventually the hurt and disappointment became much less from him. Good luck with TTC!

Post # 7
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I also think we have the same older sister. Though my sister was a bit worse. She’s 2 years older than me, but she’s always been my “little” sister. We were not in each other’s wedding parties as we are just barely on speaking terms. A few years back, I miscarried, though much of my family doesn’t know this. I’m 25, I have endometriosis and like you…I don’t ovulate every month. My family does know about these two issues. Several months ago, when I told my family about these issues, my mom opened up to me (which she rarely does, we’re not that close) about her pregnancy issues, and how my vavo (her mother) miscarried around 5 times–both had the same two issues.

Well my sister went to her doctor and she ran a full work-up. She doesn’t ever plan to have children, but she had the NERVE to throw in my face that she doesn’t have any issues in the reproductive department–so it’s just me. Thanks sis!!

I think all of our sister’s need to grow up and stop being so selfish, childish and hurtful!! At any rate, you seem like you’re headed in the right direction. Something is clearly up, and you deserve to know why. You shouldn’t have to wait years upon years upon years to have a baby when you can figure out the issue now, try to correct it, and have one!

Post # 9
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Anotherbee good for you! I’m really sorry your sister just couldn’t be happy for you. Maybe once you are pregnant your sister will be able to better connect for you…positive thoughts for the future?

 

Post # 10
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It easy to judge when you don’t understand how it really feels to be someone else! I’m sorry you sister isn’t trying to understand how things are for you. that can be really hard when the people you think really should try to understand, aren’t. Hopefully she can be happy for you when you do get pregnant and you will find the closeness you are looking for. ANd if not there are loads od strangers here who do understand and are happy to support you 😉

The topic ‘dear big sister: please be a big sister!’ is closed to new replies.

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