Post # 1
If you haven’t checked out this site, you should. It can be pretty funny.
Here’s an example:
Dear Fellow Co-workers,
If you’re sitting at your desk, and I page you, please pick up your damn phone. I’m getting pretty tired of getting yelled at by the person calling because they don’t want your voicemail. The same goes for if you aren’t sitting at your desk, and you’re just wandering around the building.
One Frustrated Receptionist
What’s YOUR Dear Blank Please Blank?
Post # 3
Please refrain from talking to me while I am using the ladies room. It creeps me out that you insist on having a conversation while I am emptying my bladder.
Post # 4
Please stop running around telling everyone you’re worried about getting fired. Instead of doing that…do your job and you might not get fired. I’m tired of picking up your slack.
Doing Double Work
Post # 5
Please stop shooting off fireworks until 1 am. The Fourth of July was almost a month ago.
(and please put on a shirt while you’re at it)
Your soon-to-be-completely-unhinged neighbor
Post # 6
Buahaha, these are funny!
Please buy me a pretty ring soon so we can get married and I can stop obsessing over it.
You Gf’s tummy that is sure to be near an ulcer
But seriously –
Post # 7
@OneOfTheseDaysAlice: Oh, yes, this.
Please don’t get angry with me because so-and-so isn’t at his desk/isn’t here/isn’t picking up his line. That’s really not my problem. I can put you in voicemail or you can call back later.
The new girl
Dear specific caller today,
You called and asked for H, and I told you that he was gone for the day. You said you’d take whoever was available, so I gave you M. You HUNG UP ON M and called back and asked for anyone but M. Look, I’m sorry, but that’s who I had available. Two guys were on vacation today, H left early, and the other guy went out to watch the counter. Don’t get mad at me because I did what you asked.
I hate you.
Post # 8
I’ve gotten lost on that website for hours before!
Post # 9
STOP SPOILING EVERY OLYPMIC EVENT I WANT TO WATCH! I wasn’t even trying to get to the internet today, I just need a browser to access a work program and right there in giant letters and pictures you tell me. Asshats.
Someone who has switched every browser that they use to Yahoo.
Post # 10
Dear bank that I had an interview with today,
Please hire me! I really want to make babies with my husband, but I can’t do that until I get working again. So basically, please hire me so I can get rid of my baby fever.
Waiting on pins and needles
Post # 11
Thank you very much for looking appropriate for your interview. And for being well spoken and pretty darn funny. I am sad that I have to interview more people for hte job because I really just want to hire you.
I get that I am the office manager but instead of telling me that the copier you’re using it out of ______, why don’t you save yourself the time of trying to track me down to report this travesty and just take care of it yourself. It is not rocket science and frankly I am tired of wiping your a$$ all the time.
Post # 12
Dear anyone who calls here,
Please stop interrupting me when I answer the phone. All I say is “[Company], this is [name], how can I help you?” There’s no need for you to cut in and start talking before I get through the company name. Also? Rude. Don’t then yell at me because I made you repeat whatever it was you said; I couldn’t hear you while you were trying to talk over me.
Post # 13
Please provide me with the work I was hired to do so that I am not getting paid to sit here on WB all day feeling like a guilty, worthless bum. This is not a skill that I can put on my resume.
Bored cubicle dweller.
Post # 14
When I am trying to take someone’s order over the headset, it is 98% impossible when you keep interjecting on the “secret” line with smart-a** comments making fun of every southern accent you hear, and laughing your hyena laugh in my ears. Next time it happens, I WILL snap.
– Newbie/transfer who actually gives a d*** about the customers and does not make fun of people to make herself feel superior.
Post # 15
Please stop asking me stupid questions. Such as where is the beach? Keep walking East I promise you will hit it (one block from where we are). Also please refrain from unfolding the same t-shirt in 5 sizes because you are too stupid to read the bin tag signs. Also you don’t need to unfold 10 of the same shirt either.
And stop asking me what Est 1981 means. The same thing it means on any shirt the year a univeristy, town, state was founded. Yes, I am aware this strip of land was here prior to that, we didn’t just add land, however it was not incoroprated until then. No its not a 31 year old shirt!
The girl who has spent 20+ years answering your stupid questions in her family business.
Post # 16
Dear song writers.
Stop changing lyrics I remember as being cute and romantic into sad ones. I can’t keep changing my wedding playlist forever!!
Person who can’t use Love of my life and Best of my love in her wedding.