(Closed) Dear FMIL, F*@k Off! (vent..long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4361 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t have anything to say.  Other than sorry.  Just wanted you to know that I read it the whole way through.  Bigs hugs.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

with each paragraph i was thinking oh no… then i hit “ouch” with the cheap theme comment.

glad to know you and your Fiance are a team with her attitude – shes only got herself to blame by being constantly negative

Post # 6
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sorry, I have a bitchy Future Mother-In-Law as well. Ive pretty much shut her out of anything wedding related since she has made my engagement such a nightmare. I view it as a philosophy of this is why we cant have nice things..because you completely flip shit over and ruin moments for us..so enjoy your self-made solitude! Bitches be crazy about weddings.

Post # 7
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

Wow I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is great that your Fiance hasn’t turned his back on the situation, and is supporting you. Future Mother-In-Law sounds like a superbitch. ick. I think you are doing the right thing though, just leave her out of it. Have you ever confronted her? like when she says or does these things, do you ever say “that hurts my feelings” “that’s very rude” “you’re a c**t”? Maybe saying somethign in an open way will make her open her eyes. Or maybe you and your Fiance could talk to her together. What does her husband say about her bahavior? does it come up with him?

Post # 9
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am sorry you are going thru this with her. Its a very touchy subject and I can some what relate. My best advice is to plan your wedding and if she cares about her son she might change in time to help.Good luck and stay strong.

Post # 10
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow. Just wow.

What. A. Cow.

Seriously, just stop trying to include her. What’s the point? I know she’s your Future Mother-In-Law and you probably WANT to have a good relationship with her, but there is a stage where you have to draw the line.

It sounds like you have given her plenty of chances, but when someone continues to insult and belittle both you and your relationship with your Fiance, then I don’t think it matters who it is, there is definitely a point where you have to say enough is enough.

Have you spoken to your Fiance about this? I think if you both need to be on the same page.

Post # 11
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Ms Rocky Point:  I agree with Ms Rocky Point too. You should call her out and tell her she’s hurting your feeling before walking away. Perhaps if you end up doing this enough she will realise just how often she’s being a cow.

Maybe don’t call her a c**t though 😛 hehe.

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is your Future Mother-In-Law my Future Mother-In-Law too!? Because I am dealing with all the same shit. Mine does all the same things and always out of ear shot of my Fiance. It finally reached a breaking point and I recently confronted her. She has been kissing my ass since but I’m waiting for the next cheap shot. Talk to your Fiance about how you feel. Things will not change when you get married so it’s best to get him to understand your feelings about this. Good luck and feel free to message me if you ever need someone to vent to. I understand where you are coming from.

Post # 13
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My goodness. I’m speechless. She’s like a villainess in a movie or something! 

I’m pretty much useless, I’ve got no advice for you. I’m very sorry you have to go through this, with no support or love from your Future Mother-In-Law. I’m very glad though that at least you and your Fiance are united in your views about the situation.

Post # 14
Member
9668 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i am so sorry 🙁 (hugs) i am so glad your Fiance knows what is going on and is on the same page with you though! i agree that you should confront her, but do it together, to show her your united front. i hope she backs off soon and treats you with respect!

Post # 15
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

(Big sigh)

a lot of this sounds very familiar to me, with my father.

He continually says offensive things that hurt my feelings, and when i stand up for myself and bring it up, he plays the victim saying I’M the one hurting HIM.

in the last few months I’ve come to realize that he truly has a narcissistic personality disorder. He’s not right. I can’t expect him to act like a ‘normal’ person. respond with compassion or reason like a regular Dad.

I recently purchased a book called “Disarming the Narcissist” by Wendy Behary. I’ve barely started it, but it’s a guide book for surviving with someone who is afflicted by this disorder.

what they say still hurts, they will still drive you crazy, but somehow it helps a little bit, when you realize and accept that they have a personality disorder.

 

Post # 16
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

when you confront them it only feeds into the conflict, and they are experts at turning it around, playing the victim, and will rarely, probably never take responsibility. so in most cases with a narcissist it doesn’t help, sadly. 🙁

The topic ‘Dear FMIL, F*@k Off! (vent..long)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors