Post # 1
I know I have posted about this already. Sorry guys, I’m STILL waffling.
If you want the background, read here:
Every single time I read a post here discussing the for and against, it reminds me that there is a positive side of having kids at the wedding. What I am really coming to grips with is the concept of telling my friends and family who have come from out of town that they cannot bring their children.
Very, very few of them are coming from far away, but those who are have the expenses of flights (including paying for the kids), hotels, meals, and a few of them are IN the wedding and bear the cost of clothing, parties, and the like. Granted I mentioned about having a few of those kids be in the wedding which does cost them additional cash in clothing… But I can’t help but feel like if they are paying to fly their kid here, it would feel more ‘worth it’ for that child to be in the wedding or attending.
At this point, I’m leaning towards specifically talking to the parents that are either family or coming from out of town about whether or not they would LIKE to bring their kids. This is not an exception we would make for everyone – and it would be limited to out of town/traveling, nieces and nephews, or nursing babies.
I am a bit concerned about the whole some kids but not others thing – but honestly, I’ve heard so much whining about it being on a Friday night that I don’t really care about the little bratty comments anymore. I’m more concerned about this close, tight group of people and how they are feeling about my decision to exclude kids.
Please help me talk through this, bees!
Post # 3
We’re kind of doing the same thing. Though for us, 95% of guests (and all children) will be out of towners, and there’s only 3 kids currently born, 1 in utero, and another couple ones that might spring into existence.
The other thing we’re doing is telling people what will be going down… we intend to have a pretty raucous party going into the late hours. And, um… my FI and I are not exactly the type of people parents like to have their kids around. They KNOW this will be big trouble for any child old enough to understand what’s going on.
Although looking over your other post, it does look like you’re thinking of having a babysitter pick up kids from the reception which I think is really courteous of your guests. How many children are involved in all this?
I do think the distinctions you’re making are pretty clear-cut ones and people should be able to understand them. Frankly, if I had a kid I would be so psyched to leave it at home if my friends’ wedding was in town. This might be part of why I don’t want kids, though…
Post # 4
Ah, I laughed out loud for real at the end of your post about not having kids!!
I didn’t really feel bad about the no kids thing until my brother (who is coming from out of town) made a fairly biting comment about it. It’s not usually his style to get riled up about much, so for him to say ANYthing in the first place was shocking. Usually he’s pretty passive (sometimes passive agressive, but we’ll save those comments for another day!)
I am almost considering putting a special RSVP note (aside from the actual reply card) into the invitations of the guests that would be allowed to bring their kids – Basically saying ‘we are making exceptions for a select group of close family and out of town guests and allowing these children to attend if you choose to bring them. If not, we will get you a baby sitter.’
I also DO think in a lot of ways including our nephews (all our siblings have boys!) and then my two godchildren will be fine because the grandparents of ALL of those children will be in attendance.
Ugh, AND I just thought of another thing regarding my MOH’s kids/godkids – She will be flying from Texas with them, her mom and step-dad are attending and HER brother is flying in for MY WEDDING from Spain to attend and see everyone. Hhe’s been overseas in the Navy for nearly 7 years and rarely sees them.
OOOOH I feel like BAD AUNTIE! haha!
Post # 6
That is funny stuff. We are having kinda the same issue. The only kids invited to our wedding and reception are a)immediate familys kids (nieces / nephews) AND b) kids of our wedding party. We haven’t decided exactly how we will word it in our invite, but i think it is important that guests know they WILL see a few children. Something like “although we would love to share our wedding day with all of your children, we have limited our guest list to our immediate family and wedding party…thank you for your understanding” . . . I actually don’t think that anyone is going to care…but who knows 🙂
Post # 7
Strange how the kids thing seems to cause so much trouble with inviations etc. My best friend is getting married in month and they are just having kid’s room for anyone who decides to bring their children. They have a babysitter for the day.