Post # 1
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
Not even sure where to start so I will go back to the beginning… My fiancé and I had been engaged for quite a while, we lived together and felt like there wasn’t any rush to get married.
In January of this year my mom, and also my best friend passed away suddenly from a brain tumor. It was a very difficult time and in the summer we decided to start planning our wedding as her passing taught us life is too short. We have since set a date, have everything set and all deposits paid.
This week my father had a massive stroke and passed away 3 days later. I am only 26 years old, which is way to young to have lost both parents, especially within 10 months. I find myself lost even thinking about the wedding, which is supposed to be happening April 20th. It bothers me that neither one of my parents will be there now to enjoy my big day.
I know that my dad was super excited for our wedding, so much so that he tried to take my moms place to assist with some of the planning… I won’t be making any decisions anytime soon, but right now i know it won’t feel the same way if I continue with all the big wedding plans I had before.
Has anyone else suffered a major loss like this before their wedding? Or lost both parents at such an early age?
Post # 3
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
I have no personal experience, I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your losses and give you big bee hugs!
Post # 4
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
Thank you for the kind words @MissTatas
Post # 5
Member
47419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I am so sorry for your losses. Losing both your Mom and Dad at your age and within such a short time frame must be incredibly painful.
Post # 6
Member
641 posts
Busy bee
I am so sorry for your loss 🙁 I could not imagine! I think about this every day, my mom is ill, my Fiance mom has lung cancer, his dad is ill…were both 27. Its very sad.
I have not lost anyone close. So I dont know if my words will mean anything, but do you think that they would want you to carry on with the wedding any way? I bet they would! They will be there every step of the way, and especially on your big day. Take it easy, and enjoy the planning and wedding through memories. Those special moments and things your dad planned will be even more special now.
Post # 7
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now.
I agree that they would want you to carry on anyway, but they would also understand if its too hard to do that right now. I think you need some time for yourself, without all the pressures of wedding planning. Take a break from planning if you can, I know the holidays can be an especially difficult time for this. Talk to your Fiance about your concerns. He’ll understand. Marriage is all about supporting each other in times like this.
Again, I just want to say how sorry I am. My thoughts are with you.
Post # 8
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
Thanks everyone.
I do agree they would want us to carry on and have the wedding as planned.. I know my dad was looking forward to making a toast, dancing and walking me down the aisle. And if my mom had been here for the start of planning, she would have been super involved in everything.
Right now, every time I think about the wedding I burst into tears because I know nothing will be the same with them both gone. I do agree about putting off planning right now, or making any major decisions for at least a month or so.
Post # 9
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am 27 and lost my mother to suicide this January. I just got married in October, and I thought going through with the wedding would be more difficult than it was.
Sometimes, when life hits you hard, the thing you need the most is something that reminds you that life does go on (because I know what it feels like to just want to stay in bed and never move forward). I hope your wedding is absolutely everything you dream it to be!