(Closed) Debating divorce…again

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 91
Member
5015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

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daisy8812 :  To answer your question, I have divorced once before.  It was clear that there was trouble in my first marriage and I basically exhausted every avenue and made every effort to make things work.  Ex husband was not making an effort and didn’t seem committed to our future at all. I felt worthless, disheartened and a bit scared.  But then I discovered he was actively cheating on me and that was it, decision made, it was time to divorce.  From that point forward it was pure adrenaline and decisiveness which was far less painful than the life I had been living with someone so selfish, unloving and in all honesty abusive.  So I proceeded with changing the locks on the doors of our shared apartment, I filed for divorce and in the same day made an appointment for STD screening.  Once everything was in motion I started considering what I needed which was to stay with my career because it was the one thing I felt confident in at the moment, I applied for college and started attending church.  I went through different motions of anger and hurt then I pulled myself together and started to get excited about my opportnity to start over.

Post # 92
Member
10985 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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daisy8812 :  

People come here, they post their stories about issues that will inevitably be controversial.

I married a man I had no business marrying.

I cheated on him with another man and my husband took me back.

I want a divorce.

I don’t want to give up my beautiful home and good lifestyle.

Discuss.

The Bees post thoughtful and generally well reasoned responses that annoy the OP who feels moved to scold us for giving her the feedback she was asking for in the first place.

 

Post # 93
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I think you need at least a separation. There is good and bad in every relationship, but if no sex is a deal breaker for you, you need to leave your marriage. Divorce is scary because you know what you have now, even if it is bad. The future is unknown. Some advice…make a mental decision, don’t tell anyone, and live like the decision is made for 1 week. See how you feel. This mental exercise might bring some clarity to your emotions. 

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