(Closed) Debridesmaided. Her wedding is tomorrow. Do I say anything?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

So much drama! In your shoes I would be more upset so take it with a grain of salt. Btw- who canceled coffee? I would wait until she came back from the honeymoon to approach mending the friendship. Although, for me, the friendship would be over

Post # 4
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Good friends are hard to find and as your planning your wedding you will see how stressful it can be. Sometimes emotions get the best of us and we can’t see things clearly. Your decision can’t be reversed  so if your ok with not at least wishing your childhood friend congrats you have to live with that. I would at least say I’m happy for you and wish her well even if you don’t repair the relationship she was your friend for most of your life. 

Post # 5
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Her behavior isn’t ok. But send her a text and a best wishes card.

Post # 6
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

What she did is not ok and I’m guessing she will regret being an immature child once the wedding stuff settles down.  However, you need to assess what it is oyu actually want to get out of having a convo with her.  If it was me, I would stick a card in the mail with a gift voucher or something and wish her a fantastic wedding and leave the door open for her to contact you if that is what you desire.  PErsonally, I wouldn’t want a bar of someone so rude.

Post # 7
Member
4857 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She sounds incredibly manipulative and self centred. That being said, there’s two sides to every story. Based on what you say though, nuts to her.

Post # 8
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What a narcissistic weirdo. To hell with her.

Post # 9
Member
1794 posts
Buzzing bee

wait she de-friended you, seriously? like, real life dump or just facebook de-friend? you know what– I would shoot her a text tonight saying “Am I really not invited to your wedding anymore? we’ve been friends since 8th grade 🙁 I love you and I’d still love to be there but I hope you have a beautiful wedding:-) I know you’ll look amazing!” and see if that changes anything, if not then forget she exists

Post # 11
Member
5882 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t understand why she expects to be in on every invite in your life? You were going out with co-workers and invited a long time friend to come along, it seems irrational that she would de-friend and de-bridesmaid you over this. Normally I’m a fan of having a chat with someone to clear the air, but her ‘chats’ seem like another opportunity to beret you from someone who always has an issue with someone about something. Consider the cancelled coffees a bullet you dodged. If you’re going to her wedding, just keep it simple and classy & write a nice congratulatory note in her card. Then, in your shoes, I would seriously distance myself from her afterward, she sounds more self absorbed drama queen than sincere friend.

Post # 12
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

NBee:  Damn, apparently when I hang out with friends and don’t invite every single other friend in my life, I’ve been doing it wrong! Smh.

This girl sounds like a heinous bitch and having taken away my friends I doubt I’d want to have any correspondence with her at all, but this at the same time you want your behaviour to continue to be above reproach so that she cannot lay claim to any actual wrongdoing on your part. So send her a simple congratulations and best wishes, then be done with her forever.

Post # 13
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Walloon Lake Inn

It sounds like she just used the fact you didn’t invite her out that night as a “reason” to de-friend you. Going by what all you said before that, she was just waiting for a reason to dump you. That way it would “seem” like it’s all your fault and not hers. I can imagine how hard losing a lifetime friend must be. But honestly, I think you’re better off not having all that negativity and always worring about whether she’s going to be upset about something or other. As far as the other girls, they’re probably just trying to not get de-friened as well and make it through the wedding. Give them time. They should come around once this wedding isn’t hanging over their heads anymore. Send a card if you want. But I’d leave it alone & try to move on. 

Post # 14
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds like a silly little girl who still wants to feel like ‘queen bee’ the other side of high school. And if other adult women seriously push you out because they’ve taken sides, then it really sucks for you but they are sheep.

Personally, i don’t think that could be repaired other than being able to go out as a group and be civil. Send a card to be the better person (& because if you don’t no doubt she’ll have a melt down and bitch about you to mutual friends). 

Post # 15
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

Her behavior seems to indicated that she no longer wants to be your friend. I wouldn’t make any attempts to reconcile. Just move on with your life and let her reach out to you if she changes her mind. I’m sorry that the split with her is affecting your friend group. I don’t see any reason you can’t continue to hang out with the other girls. If they are truly your friends then your relationships with them should continue. If they are ostracized you as a group without cause then I would move on from the whole group, enjoy being engaged and find some new, nicer friends

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