(Closed) Deceased Parent on invitation?

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Could you do:

(Father’s name), husband of the late (Mother’s name)

and (FI’s parents)

invite you to celebrate the union of their children

Stephanie and Nathan?

I’m really not sure about this, it was just a rough draft kind of idea. My FI’s father past away 5 years ago and he decided not to include him on the invitation. I know, in the past, a lot of people would suggest to honor her in the program or in another way.

Post # 4
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

How about:

Mr. Daddy and the late Mrs. Mom

and FH parents

Your names

Post # 5
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@trugem:  The problem is that someone who is deceased cannot be hosting the wedding.  So if couple themselves were hosting, you could say:

Stephanie HerLastName,
daughter of Mr. Daddy and the late Mrs. Mom
and
FH LastName
son of FH parents…

However, if you want to list the parents as hosting, only the living ones can be listed as hosts.

Post # 6
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@2dBride: I thought that too and about the way you did it, but she said she wanted their names together too. Which is why I did mine the way I did; all couple names are together and the mother is not hosting, but is mentioned.

May not be the best, but meets the requirements.

Post # 7
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@reinab505:  I know.  I was just trying to clarify for trugem exactly what the problem was.

The only question I have about your solution is that it seems a bit odd to say that her father is the husband of someone deceased.  It kind of sounds as though, if he remarried, he’d be engaging in bigamy.  However, it may be the best of the available choices.

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@2dBride: I know, that’s the issue I had with it too. I couldn’t think of a better way to say it though.

Post # 9
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@ThePinkTyrant: Yeah, I don’t think there’s really a way that you can list your mom and your dad together if your dad is hosting. Technically, you don’t list deceased family members on the invitation–you honor them in the program or some other way–but if you really want to, this would be how to do it:

Mr. John Bride

and Mr. and Mrs. John Groom

request the honor of your presence a the marriage of their children

PinkTyrant Bride

daughter of the late Mrs. Jane Bride

and Mr. John Groom, Jr.

 

The thing is, a deceased parent cannot appear to be hosting the wedding–and unfortunately, that’s kind of a big thing in invitations. There’s no real good way to have your dad and your mom on the same line–I suppose you *could* add your dad to the line below your name, but most guests will think that’s a little strange to list your dad twice AND because technically, your father is no longer married.

Another way to think about it is it’s a beautiful personal gesture to want to include your mother (and you could in the above example), but for all the wedding hoopla surrounding them, invitations aren’t really all that personal–they are there to provide nuts-and-bolts information and certain conventions are employed to make sure that the information given is clear. A few other ways that you could honor your mom is to have a special segment during the ceremony, a moment of silence at the reception, include something about her in the program, or have a “family photo” display including a tribute to your mom.

Post # 11
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@2dBride:  I’ve seen it done that way in Engagement and Wedding announcements in the newspaper. Maybe that wasn’t the proper way to do it.

@ThePinkTyrant:

Here is some articles on this:

http://www.ehow.com/how_5700095_list-deceased-parents-invitations.html

http://www.favorideas.com/learn-about/etiquette/tough-wedding-invitation-wording/

Here is what The Knot says about it:

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/wedding-invitations-etiquette.aspx (the same as what 2dbride was saying)

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