(Closed) Deceiving pictures? (Surprise vs. Pick it out yourself)

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Which should I do?

    Let him surprise me!

    Insist on ring shopping together.

  • Post # 31
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m a traditional sort of girl so I wanted my husband to choose. Like you I knew if I had too much input I would forever be second guessing my decision. I didn’t want the pressure of choosing the perfect ring, It was important to me that it was his choice for me. Also I was curious to see what he would choose! I do trust my husband though and I know he has good taste and that he would take the selection process seriously. Also he did ask what I wanted. My only stipulations were that I wanted a round brilliant cut diamond and I wanted a white metal. I had never tried on rings but I knew I would the love the sparkle of a round and I don’t wear yellow or rose gold. He didn’t let me down and he choose a beautiful and elegant 2ct solitare round diamond of the highest cut, clarity and colour on a simple platinum 4 prong band. Tbh he had quite a large parameter to choose from as I wasn’t picky on carat or the setting or anything and I think that because I let him choose that he went above and beyond my expectation to surprise me :).

    I didn’t press any of the boxes because I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying on rings. You know your partner the best and you know if he is the sort that has a good handle on your taste and style or if he is one of those me that is hopeless at shopping.

    Post # 32
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    I have other jewelry, so I already had a good idea of what looks good on me.  I pretty much chose the ring I thought I would.  I think a surprise is a nice sentiment, but really depends on his sensibilities.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I thought I wanted a solitaire but I was engaged for a very short time before and had one.  When my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I went shopping (only one time) he liked solitaires too and I left it up to him on what to pick.  He picked a princess solitaire on an unplated white gold band.

    I liked it but then I lost it for a while.  I found it and by then I had fallen in love with halo settings.  With his blessing, I reset it into a halo and now only wear one ring (my lost wedding band was never found).  I wish I had tried on more rings to begin with as I probably would have not gone with a solitaire again.

    Post # 34
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee

    Honestly I think that by going with a solitaire you can’t go wrong.  When my husband upgraded my ring I was able to pick out the style I wanted–and I decided on a solitaire again.  Some other styles were hit or miss…some I loved, some I hated…but every shape stone I tried on in a classic solitaire Tiffany’s setting was lovely.  If you had something elaborate picked out-that you’d never seen in person-then I’d say maybe try it on first and go shopping together–but solitaires are classic and flattering. Should be fairly easy for him to pick a pretty one out for you.  Also, I’ve had an Oval and it was by far one of my favorite shapes!  Good luck!  

    Post # 35
    Member
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I originally did not have an engagement ring but I was involved when I did get rings after I was married (involved as in…I did all the picking, designing, etc). I mean, I was not a jewelery person before we married but I realized that only made me feel it was important to have something I loved to wear. You aren’t “high maintenance” for wanting to love the looks AND sentiment behind what you are wearing every day. Especially when he or both of you are spending a lot of money on it! You two are BOTH getting married, and you have a lifetime of making decisions and participating in marriage together. I think the idea of a “surprise” proposal is overrated, especially if you have a relationship founded on partnership – I mean you already know now it is coming so is the surprise not already lost?

    I do think if you are someone who has not worn many rings especially it IS important to try things on. You can just go on your own or with a girlfriend. I remember both before and after my wedding m, trying on rings I loved….before they were on my hand. Once on, they just were not flattering. But also experiencing the opposite; rings I was not that interested in in photos or the case looked amazing when on.

    Rings (shapes, style) can do to your hand what the wrong or right shape sunglasses can do to your face! For example, I love the look of asschers and emeralds and other square step cuts…but the very straight shapes appear to enhance the knobbiness of my knuckles. Okay for an occassional wear ring, but not my ideal for everyday! I also found that rounds above 2+ looked a bit “bobbly” on me. On the other hand, there are several shapes and styles (solitaire, halos) that are flattering, and some were ones I did not expect to like before I put it on.

    I think the metal choice is important too. I am pale with warm undertones and look terrible in bright plated white gold. It washes me out and makes my skin look cold. I look best in yellow, rose, unplated warm gold, and can even wear platinum as it is a softer gray-white versus bright silvery-white without looking washed out. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    View original reply
    chanchito :  Yes, my Fiance and I both fell in love with a setting I found on-line. It was an oval in an east-west setting. Thank goodness I had to be in NY and decided to visit the store that designed the setting during that visit. (We were going to have it custom made closer to where we live.) I hated the way the setting looked on my finger!!!!!! That visit saved us a lot of time, money, and heart ache.  I say all this to say – please go try on rings. It’s fun and will help you better understand what you do and do not like. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    281 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    chanchito :  I vote for shopping together. When I looked at rings for fun before I even met my Fiance, I realized that certain cuts did not look good on my hand. Also, he didn’t have any knowledge of diamonds and I didn’t want him to get ripped off, or choose something that I wouldn’t absolutely love. We went together and I think that was the best option as I do plan to have this for life and I want to love it!

    Post # 38
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m in a similar boat! I’m super picky about everything but I want to be surprised about the ring. I took a friend and went and tried on rings. I took lots of photos and determined the bias C style of what I wanted. He asked me to do this because he knows how picky I am. Especially about something so important! 

    Post # 39
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We went to a jeweler to try on rings together. I picked my top 5 settings and let him pick which setting and the diamond. I was still very surprised. I’m glad I went because i didn’t care for the ones I liked in the pictures. Best decision ever! 

    Post # 40
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee

    You can go try on rings on your own to get an idea of what styles look good on your hand and then send him pictures of the styles you liked! Don’t wait too long though if you think he’ll be purchasing the ring with his bonus, otherwise it might be too late. I went ring shopping with my fiancé and I also went on my own. I’m so glad I did cause it was much less pressure when I was by myself. Also, the styles that I always envisioned myself wanting ended up being the styles that I didn’t like on my hand. In the end we ended up picking out the ring together online and I could not be happier with it! 

    Post # 41
    Member
    2557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    For me, solitaire. I think they’re so pretty and classic, but I don’t think they suit my fingers. My first engagement ring was a solitaire and eventually we upgraded to a more substantial setting that looks nicer on me, IMO. 

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