Deciding on my new name…what did you do?

posted 3 years ago in Names
  • poll: How did you change your name?

    Maiden name is new middle name, took partner's last name

    Kept first and middle name, dropped maiden name, and took partner's last name

    Kept all of my names and added partner's last name before or after mine

    Didn't change my name at all

  • Post # 31
    184 posts
    Blushing bee

    I just added my new last name on to the end (no hyphens!), as both my middle and maiden name hold significance for me. My middle name is after a beloved aunt that has passed, and I had no brothers to carry on my father’s last name. I like all my names 🙂 If you dislike your maiden name I see no reason for you to feel obligated to keep it though.

    Post # 32
    100 posts
    Blushing bee

    I absolutely hate my FI’s last name. In the midwest where we live it is all pronounced through the nose and sounds terrible with my first name. Fiance has offered to keep our names, and the kids can have my name, and then when his dad passes he will take my name. I really like this idea, because he really has no connection to his family name, or his dad (who is pretty awful but will be totally offended if he knew Fiance was changing his name). Fiance has a really nice connection with my dad, and I think my dad would be pleased as punch if we decide to go this route. 

    Post # 33
    2678 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’ve been married for 6 months and still haven’t fully decided haha. 

    Right now I’m leaning towards keeping my maiden name as a middle name/second last name and legally taking his as well (once I get around to the paperwork). I’ll keep using my maiden name for work and probably just self identify as using both or either. 

    I fought with it a lot because dropping a piece of my identity because I got married feels very anti-feminist, but at the same time having the same last name as him really makes me feel like we’re a family.

    I also think it’s pretty lame that we have to grow the babies from scratch INSIDE OUR BODIES for 9 months and then they take the man’s name. So our kids will have my name as a middle name/second last name as well. 

    Post # 34
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - -

    While I feel I must fight our society’s norms and sexist traditions, he really wants me to take his name, so I will and will keep my middle name as it always has been. I don’t particularly like my family, so I don’t feel strong connection in that sense. It’s just that my name has been my name for 28 years. It’s weird to think about suddenly having a different name. I do reeeeeally like the sound of my new initials, though, so it’s not all uncomfortable.

    Post # 35
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee

    Dropped my maiden name, took my husband’s last name.  I also kept my first and middle names.

    Post # 36
    9031 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: Dorset, UK

    Fiance isn’t attached to his last name. I really am attached to mine and won’t give it it up, so Fiance is taking mine and we will be Mr & Mrs my last name. Can’t wait and it makes me love him even more that he understands why it is so important to me and is willing to take it. 

    Post # 37
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Ah I just posted before seeing this thread. I am very much torn and want to have it all! I want to have the same name as any future children, but also want to keep my middle and maiden names, and add his as well…all without things getting too confusing or convoluted. I wonder how important it will be to me in 10 years time, but I have degrees and an identity associated with my maiden name, as well as a very close relationship with my family…all very confusing.

    Post # 38
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I dropped my maiden name and took my exhusbands name.

    I kept his last name after we divorced because we have a child with that last name but regretted it soon after since I actually got passed up on jobs because of it (Small town, everyone knew him.. long story)

    Once I get remarried I will drop my ex’s last name and take my new husband’s last name. My older sister hypenated hers and her husband’s last names and my younger sister’s wife took our family name. So my family is a mix of all different ways of going about it.

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