(Closed) Deciding to Elope, Mixed Feelings

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

What do you mean by “he needed to stop having to deal with having a wedding thing in order to feel better”?

We also initially talked about eloping in Europe but had second thoughts because our parents, siblings, and friends were SO excited about us getting engaged (like crying tears of joy).  It seemed almost selfish to elope when the people we love really wanted to see us say I Do. My friend’s brother eloped, and her parents were absolutely crushed to not be part of their day.  Would your families be upset?

It sounds like you really want a wedding afterall and just because you “decided to elope” doesnt mean it’s set in stone (unless you booked a venue).  He can always change his mind like us.  We’ve changed our minds a thousand times! Yes, wedding planning is a huge headache and expensive, but I know it’ll be worth it in the end when we are celebrating with the people we love.


Post # 4
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We kind of wanted an in between…

So we’re having a destination wedding in Scotland. It will be a small(er) wedding because its so far away, but we’ll still have some other people there for our day.

Fiance has a complicated family and we don’t want many members to be a part of our wedding and this was the easiest way to do it without hurting feelings, but still getting the actual wedding that we want.

Maybe you could have a small destination wedding? Sometimes I feel like saying “oh screw it! I just want to elope!!!” but I know that I would feel sad if I didn’t get to have an actual wedding – no matter how small.

Post # 5
1428 posts
Bumble bee

Sigh….I do understand how you feel. I have always wanted a Destination Wedding or small, intimate, fun wedding. SO would be more than happy with a courthouse wedding. I don’t have a huge family, but I would want my family members and our close friends there.

He brought up the courthouse wedding again a couple of months ago, and I just flat out told him that if you want us to be married, that is not how it will happen.

So he wants us to be married, we want to start TTC soon after our wedding, so at this point, (although I don’t even consider myself as a Waiting Bee right now), we will have a small, most likely, Destination Wedding wedding. Kind of the best of both worlds for us. A “meet in the middle”so to speak.

You could also elope and then have a reception when y’all get home, but don’t settle, I have friends that have “settled” and now regret it.


Post # 6
37 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you’re having doubts about it now, that is probably a sign that you would regret it. Talk to your fiance about your clashing wants. Maybe you can find a compromise.

When we finally made the decision to elope, it was SUCH a relief!! I felt so much better, and so far, I have not had any doubts that it will be perfect for us.

But I am also getting my reception when we get back. That was really important to my mom, so my parents are throwing us a party a couple months later, and I am letting her plan most of it. It will be on a much less expensive scale than if it were actually our wedding day, but I still get the best of both worlds.

Post # 8
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@mcp3x:  Could you elope and have your honeymoon in Scotland, then come back and have a party ( using the stuff you already have)? You can make it as fancy or casual as you want. You can rent out a cheap hall and do potluck or have it at a restaurant.

You wont need a professional photograper or minister etc. You can even do a “Scottish” blessing  so people feel like they witnessed something. Most guests would have more fun at something more casual anyway ( I would!)


I’m eloping to Hawaii, honeymoon. Then coming back and having a backyard luau, ( bbq) and a cake, drinks, music etc.



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