Post # 1
Some people really want to “have 2 before they’re 30” or whatever but the idea of having babies has always ALWAYS freaked me out. wanting kids just hasn’t come naturally to me but I worry that if we don’t start TTC soon, it’ll never happen & I may regret not wanting kids. I forgot to take my BCP for 4 days which brought on my period so I asked my Darling Husband whether we should stay off the pill & start TTC. neither of us particularly want kids right now – we’re saving for a mortgage & just got a puppy – but we also realise that we may not actually get pregnant for months, years, or ever. If we were to get pregnant now, we would be ok. Not ideal, but ok.
Does anyone ever regret making a decision like this? Should we wait until we want kids? Any advice or anyone experiencing a similar situation, I’d love to hear it.
If we do decide to stay off BCP, thinking maybe we wouldn’t actively ‘try’ to have kids but let Mother Nature decide…
Post # 3
I would say wait until you want kids. And, add a poll! 🙂
Post # 4
I wouldn’t do this. What happens if you never want kids or have them and hate being a mom?
Keep in mind that it’s easier to have kids later on (either medically or through adoption) if want them than it is to give them back if you don’t (pretty sure that’s impossible)
Post # 5
@VAwife: I definitely have thought this too. Especially the ‘not being able to take them back’ part lol
but I also hear stories of how it all just comes naturally when you have kids. Like even though I don’t want kids now, perhaps that’ll all change the minute I get pregnant or have a child?
Post # 6
@KellyLouise: I feel like this a lot. I feel like I ought to have kids but don’t really want them at the moment. We’ve agreed that we’re going to give it a try in a year or so because we feel like we ought to before I turn 30, but I’m sometimes really negative about them and sometimes baby crazy.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
how old are you? That is super relevant. My fiance and I are waiting til I’m 33ish to start TTC even though that’s kinda late, because we’re definitely not ready for kids in the next couple years. (I’d have to quit my job, he’s just starting off in his career, etc.) Unless you’re of the age where fertility becomes a serious issue, I’d wait until you feel at least somewhat ready and excited.
Post # 8
I’ve struggled with this before.
The possibility of not being able to have children is something that has always terrified me. It has gotten to the point where SO has said that if I was truly worried, he would be fine with going down to the courthouse ASAP to get married (we arent even engaged yet!) and TTC right away.
After a bit of soul searching, I realized that it is best to just go with the flow. I’m enjoying life as it is right now. While I would welcome an unexpected child with open arms, I honestly don’t want them right now. I’m enjoying my 20s a lot. The time for them will come, and theres no real need to panic about it just yet.
Post # 9
Darling Husband had baby fever since we got married and I never really had it. I always felt like I wanted a family eventually but never really felt a strong urge. So we decided to TTC this past summer, since I’m approaching 30 and figured it might be “too late” by the time I feel ready. We expected it to take a while but I got pregnant our second month trying. It was a shock initially and I was a bit freaked out, but since I saw our baby at our first ultrasound, I’ve been smitten. I’m still terrified but also very excited!
Post # 10
wait i thought it would take over a year for Darling Husband and myself.. and then yep we were one of those “magical” ones that get pregnant on the firts month of not using protection… so do think it cant happen. cause it can.. it did.. to us. we thought we had longer.. we dont. We are however both so hapy to be pregnant, but still in shock even though we are about 4 months in… so wait is my advice.
Post # 11
@KellyLouise: Really depends on age. If you’re like 35, I’d say that maybe you should do it, but if you’re under 30 I’d say to wait a bit.
I’m in a similar boat. I’m 27 now. I wouldn’t TTC until I’m 30 or so… I am hoping I get a stronger urge then. I like babies and kids, I’m just terrified of the whole process and the huge life-changing responsibility. I tend to focus on the negatives, though.
Post # 12
I thought about this as well, so I’m happy to read other’s posts. I also think about that and about not beign able to conceive because infertility does run in my family. The way I see it now is, If I want to and it doesn’t happen, I can always adopt (that is something we want to do anyways, but we want to be forster parents). If you are worried about age, STOP! No one can tell you when to have kids, you have to decide that. You probabbly get asked that all the time and let me tell you it does not get anny better with time. Just rub it off and don’t think about what if.
Post # 13
I’m 25. He is 27. Married in like 6 months. We’ve spoken about it but I’ve never wanted kids. But then I worry that I will and if we don’t at least have one, I’ll regret it. Won’t even think about trying until we’ve bought our house. See how life goes 🙂
Post # 14
Do not TTC unless you are ready, and MORE IMPORTANTLY want kids.
Just because it is the ‘done thing’ does not mean it is something you should do. You can make the script to your life what you want. Heck, you may NEVER want to have kids.
Post # 15
I would say definitely DON’T start trying to have kids now. Have you seen all the articles and studies they’ve done recently about kids born of parents that didn’t really want kids, or the pregnancy was a mistake? Or the ones where parents think being a parent is the worst, most depressing job they’ve ever endured and they hate it?
I’m not saying this to scare you or be mean or whatever. But I think this is something that our society needs to realize. Not everyone wants kids, and that is JUST FINE. Sometimes moms hate being a mom and realize after having a child that they didn’t want to have children. If you want a child later, you will find a way to have one when you are ready, but you can’t go back once you do have a kid.
Post # 16
I am so glad I posted here. It’s really really nice to hear people say its OK to not want kids. And I don’t. I’m 27 and Darling Husband is 32, we were married only a couple of months ago. I guess I just thought I should want kids because ‘everyone else’ does. I definitely think I’d be someone who didn’t enjoy being a mum. Even teaching our puppy obedience is draining. I guess I just needed the affirmation that’s its OK to wait, I don’t have to get pregnant straight away, just because everyone else is. Love you guys !