- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I’m not sure this is going to come out smoothly, but here goes. I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts/advice on making the “time to TTC” decision that I haven’t thought of.
Our details: My husband and I have been married almost 2 years now and are 31/33ish and are both employed. My husband has a great job with amazing job security, whereas I’m still in a temporary position that will last for another 1.2 years and then who knows? We have a career two-body problem (as they say in science) and my career is not off-the-charts successful, as I would need if we were going to easily get permanent jobs in the same place. So the job situation is in limbo, with a new contract coming up for sure Sept 2016 (which means FMLA doesn’t apply for 2016-2017), and the new contract in 2016 might be temporary (aka, FMLA wouldn’t apply for 2+ years). Meanwhile, my current job extends what I consider ‘courtesy FMLA’ (ie, they give us FMLA-like protections after a year, despite our temporary job status. But being pregnant could put in a dent in my productivity, which I need to be good to fix the “not super successful” problem.
Also, I probably have undiagnosed PCOS and potentially a thyroid disease, so getting pregnant may not be easy. But financially, we are in a place where a kid would be no hardship.
So, based on all of this, it seems like we have a window in July-Aug to TTC so that I’m covered by FMLA-like protection but still have time to come back to the job and wrap everything up before a new contract (and hopefully convince my employer to keep me). I’m still on birth control, so this window might not even be possible if my cycle gets disrupted when stopping BC, but my husband and I are considering whether to do a short ‘test’ TTC for a couple of months.
Current pro/con list:
Pros: FMLA currently ‘applies’ to me, which will stop in 2016 and I could be not covered by FMLA for potentially the 4 years after that (2016-2020 <-scary; so when I’m 35, it should apply . . .); I’m still at a ‘training’ level in my job, so my responsibilities are more limited; we are young enough to have time to figure out if something wrong (ie PCOS); we are financially ready; my husband has a permanent job; we want kids, preferably 2; there’s no guarantee my career won’t die, even without being pregnant, so prioritizing my career might be the wrong move; I’m potentially exposed to toxins at work, so the more time we wait, the more chances my health might make TTC a bad idea; my boss is supposedly pro work-life balance; my parents are older with health problems and I’d like them to meet their grandbabies; I like my doctor.
Cons: My career is important to me, and these are the ‘prove yourself years’; My job requires me to work with toxic chemicals, so I might have to change my job tasks; because my career is important to me and in it’s starting stages, I’m very emotionally wound about it and thus get very stressed; we are still young; I could be unemployed in 1.2 years and 32 is still a good age to start; as my husband said: “having a baby seems to make your happiness level take a hit, and I’m not sure our baseline happiness level can take that hit . . . you having a permanent job would change that.”
So, for obvious reasons, I’m applying to permanent jobs, but the facts are what they are. (and of course, there’s the side issue that I probably need to emotionally de-tangle from my job some).
Thanks for listening bees and any thoughts are welcome.