(Closed) Deciding where to live post-wedding

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
5166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

What are the difference between the two places?  Does one have better career prospects, perhaps one has more affordable housing?  Do either of you have a more compelling reason to pick your own home town?  – A sick relative or parent, or help with childcare for example?

How far apart are the two places, have you considering living in the middle rather than picking?

My Fiance and I met a university where neither of us had family and ended up moving to another city shortly after graduation for the career prospects.  It isn’t either of our home towns but we are going to settle here as it offered us more than either of our homes.  This city is about a two hour drive from his family and a flight away to mine so it isn’t impossible to visit but it isn’t close.  In an ideal world I would prefer to be closer to my family but when you meet someone who doesn’t live locally to you these are just the downsides that come with the relationships.  I completely feel for you on this bee, it’s difficult no matter what you choose. 

Post # 3
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think going by where you can both find good job and hopefully have a decent cost of living is a fairway to decide.  My sister lives near her husband’s family because he got a really good job he loved and the cost of living was low enough that she’s able to be a sahm for their kids until they are older. 

I have another sister who rotates every 4-5 years they move between here and her in laws area. But that’s mostly because they run an Etsy business,  so they aren’t toed to one location.  Also her Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law are diagnosed with mental difficulties that make living near them and supporting them really difficult.  4-5 years is about how long my sister can last before she leaves for her own mental health. Then his mom or dad gets sick and they go back to help out for awhile.  It may take some time before they go back again.  Both her Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law are in and out of hospitals and were blaming my sister for not being their unpaid servant and doing everything for them. They made life miserable for her,  so they returned here a couple of months ago and have both settled in fairly well. 

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