(Closed) Decision!

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was 17 and one of the last virgins I knew of… I loved him and decided 6 months was a good time to express that love so we planned it out and it was a very special night I will never forget (even more special that we had a son together a year and a half later). So we’ll always have that common bond of each others viginity and our child even if were no longer together.

Also we weren’t engaged we never actually got angaged and I’m not religious but I think he is.

Post # 4
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well, I didn’t wait. But if I was in your situation, knowing what I know and having the experiences I’ve had, I would just wait until you’re married. You’ve waited this long, what’s a little longer, you know?

For the record, I was 14 when I lost it and it wasn’t super special. I’m happy I didn’t wait because SO was not a virgin, and I’m glad we have a similar track record, to be honest! But had we both been virgins, I think I’d have preferred to just wait.

Post # 5
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would wait since you are both virgins, I believe that makes it easier to wait. I lost it at 17, after dating someone for 6 months… we were together for 2 years total. We were both virgins at that time, and it meant a lot to us. We are still friends to this day. But with Hubby and I, we had both had sex before eachother, but we decided to wait until our wedding night… and it was SO worth it!!! We both went without sex for about 3 or so years, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! This sex we had was NOTHING like the sex I had with the ex mentioned above. 

Our choice to wait was due to religion, (I became a christian 3 years ago, and He was a christian for many years before me) But it was also a personal choice to be able to share that bond when we became husband and wife! If you have any questions PM me anytime, I will help the best I can 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If you are going to spend the rest of your life together, and feel its right, then do it.  A lot of bees were virgins going into their relationships, and some didn’t want for marriage, and were totally fine with it. If you feel its right, there’s no reason to wait, as long as you both agree

Post # 7
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I was a virgin when I started dating Darling Husband at age 20.  We had sex 3 or 4 months in (but we were not engaged or talking about marriage yet).  I waited until I was in love and it just felt right and I’ve never regretted making that choice.

Either way, you and your SO need to do what you both feel comfortable with.  Neither choice is right or wrong.  It is all a matter of personal choice.

Post # 8
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We waited until our wedding night to have sex (we were, however, intimate in other ways before that).  We dated for seven years, so it was a really long time to wait.  However, when we started dating we were only 18, and neither one of us was really ready to have sex.  By the time we felt like we were, we had already been dating for a few years, so it just seemed right to wait.  We discussed it from time to time, and had a few near-misses (tequila was to blame), and almost changed our stance when we got engaged, but I’m really glad we waited.  It just seems really special that way, I can’t really explain it.  But every time we make love, it’s kind of like we are renewing our marriage, since it’s so closely related in my head. 

FWIW, although we are both pretty devout Catholics, the main reason we waited was because we really didn’t want to risk having a baby before we were ready.  Both of our parents had shotgun weddings and made it very clear that life is easier if you wait to have babies until you are read, and no BC is 100% effective.  Having an abortion just wouldn’t be an option for us personally, so we wanted to wait until we were married before we started having sex, even if it was protected. 

Post # 9
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had always planned on waiting but I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend at the time when I was 17. After that it felt like since I’d already done it there was no point in waiting anymore and I had sex with subsequent boyfriends as well. When I started dating my now Darling Husband he made it clear from the beginning that he was waiting for marriage and was a virgin. So even though I hadn’t waited overall Darling Husband and I waited through our relationship together until our wedding night. We also lived together for a year and a half before our wedding. I’m very glad that we waited and we had a very special wedding night and honeymoon. It’s a really personal decision to make though. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think since you both have waited this long, you should continue to wait.  However, it’s your decision and it shouldn’t be decided by others.

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly think that NOT having sex leads to a quicker marriage proposal – and marriage stats back that up.

I think that sex is so vitally important to a relationship that it is kind of foolish to wait. Sexual compatibility can only be determined one way. Some of the PP said that you’ve “already waited so long” – um, 3 months isn’t long. I never jumped right into bed with previous boyfriends. It isn’t something to take lightly, but it also isn’t something that should be put on such a high pedastool that you sacrifice finding out whether your sex life will be fulfilling with that person before marriage.

Post # 12
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t wait, although I planned to when I was younger. My first serious boyfriend was fine with it, and respected my wishes. Things changed, however, when I met my Fiance.. it just felt right, and we slept together before we hit the 1-month mark.

Post # 13
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

In my case, we were 20… we had sex (after me wanting to wait, but giving in after 6 months) . We KNEW we would get married, and I finally decided that he would be the only guy I was with and that would be great. 2 years later, he cheated on me and we broke up… never in million years saw that coming. He actually got the other girl pregnant a few months after we ended things and they are now married with 2 kids. I understand now why that all happened, and thank God every day that it lead me to my Fiance. But, be wise…but also you are the only one who knows if it is right.  If you will be dissapointed IF this relationship ends and that you gave it up, wait. You are both virgins, it will never be this easy for both of you to wait again…In my honest opinion, I’d wait til there was an engagement at least. 

Post # 14
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My bf and I are both virgins…he’s 23 and I’m almost 22. We both knew to wait for marriage; it had never really been something we had to discuss because we both believed it was important to wait.  I will say that it has gotten a little bit harder since we’ve began talking about marriage [engagement is coming in about a month or so], just because I know that he is the one I will lose my virginity to.  But, since it’s really important to us to wait, we will. We have both waited so long anyways, so what’s a few more months? 

Anyways, nobody can tell you what is and what isnt right for you guys.  Only you two can. If I were you, I would wait, just because I think sex is something that is super special and intimate, and waiting until your wedding night will make it that much more special. 

Post # 15
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@Erin85: I will be quite honest with you. When my FH and I decided to ‘make love’ for the first time the conversation went like this:

Me: We should make a pros and cons list

Him: (in the pro list) It would be awesome.

…And the list didn’t make it any farther than that.

Post # 16
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Three months is not a very long time, so I would say to only go ahead and have sex with him if you know that even if you two end up not staying together you will be okay with your decision to lose your virginity to him. I did not end up with my first, but we were together for years and truly loved eachother, but unfortunately as we got older we just grew apart instead of together, but at the moment I felt it was right and I don’t regret it. If you would regret it and be angry with yourself for not waiting, then wait. At least for a bit longer.

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