- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2016
Hi all, so I’ve never posted before and am really just in the initial stages of planning. FH and I are planning on getting married later this year but have not announced to our family yet until we decide what we want to do.
FH and I are weighing out our options on what we want to do, but are having trouble deciding because of our situation. We are trying to decide if we’re going to have a very small wedding, think 20-30 people max (and where that wedding will take place) or just having a ceremony the two of us at a resort on the beach kind of thing where we would also have our honeymoon. FH and I live in Indiana, neither of us have any family here besides FH’s son, we have about 5 close friends we would consider inviting if we were to have a wedding. My immediate family lives in Pennsylvania. His immediate family lives in Haiti. He isn’t really concerned about his family coming (and they wouldn’t be offended either) just because of the cost that’s involved and the fact that they’d probably stay for at least two months to make the trip worth while. I don’t know about you but I don’t really want to live with my in-laws my first few months as a newlywed lol. Anyway we’re looking to do something very simple and not spend a lot of money. It would be easier to plan something here in Indiana for me but it doesn’t really make sense to have 15 of the 20 guests from out of town. I don’t even know where we would begin to accomodate and the extra expenses that would involve for both of us. The other option would be doing something in my hometown in Pennsylvania and invite the few friends from Indiana.
What makes things complicated is my family. My parents went through a VERY messy, nasty separation and divorce about 10 years ago, they don’t speak or even talk about each other. At my college graduation about two years ago, I tried to suggest to my dad all of us having a dinner together and he flat out refused. They ended up standing at opposite sides of the room and I had to take pictures with them separately. Talk about awkward. My sister doesn’t speak to my mother either, hasn’t had anything to do with her for more than 10 years. My dad remarried and my mom and stepmom have never met and the few “interactions” they have had are only negative. I could go on about other relationships but you get the point. All of this has had me considering just getting married us two (plus son, which I wouldn’t mind and my FH favors this idea more) and no dealing with stress or drama or family members deciding they don’t want to come because he or she is going to be there.
We’ve also talked about doing some kind of reception after getting back if we were to just doing a ceremony/honeymoon/vacation, simply because I feel bad leaving my family out. I’m afraid someone might feel hurt, offended etc. but then the same thoughts of getting everyone together comes back and I’m not sure what to do. I love all of my family and it would be nice to have them involved but I feel like the fact that they’re not all loving even liking each other wouldn’t make it an enjoyable experience. Plus the location issue. I’m torn!! Any insight? Thanks In Advance
- This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by morenamasbella.