Post # 1
I’ve been a reader of the various blogs since I started this crazy wedding thing and now find myself in a little need of some BeeTLC.
The main issue I’ve been dealing with is the declined RSVPs (already received as well as some folks who havent RSVP’d but who are likely to decline). I am planning this event on the opposite end of the country where I grew up with no family around and few close personal friends. I do have wonderful coworkers and a few outside-work friends, one of who is angry at me and not speaking to me currently. My Fiance and I planned on 150 people (the max our site would hold) and sent out RSVPs to ~155 folks, many of who have kids (we are providing childcare for the ceremony). I even created another list of people who I would potentially wanted to invite (but was sure I wouldnt be able to given our tight numbers).
The first declined RSVP came from my brother. It was a sad surprise as only two months ago he was planning on coming. Then came declines from a few friends who I knew probably would not be able to make it due to finances (despite me giving plenty of time to plan and save). Then came some declines from close personal friends who I was 100% sure would be there. We are now 6 days from the rSVP deadline and I have ~20 people who have not RSVP’d. Every person I’ve contacted to remind them of this has declined. Several of them who of course 3 months ago were planning on coming (or so they said).
We now have roughly half of our number. We may break 100 but probably no more than that.
I am trying to stay positive and be glad and excited for each person who said “yes” but it is starting to get difficult. Especially since two other weddings are occuring around mine (one two weeks prior and the other two weeks after) and I cant help but feel mind is lacking, illogical I am sure.
Just needed to ‘cry’ into the computer keys. Thanks for listening. 🙂
Post # 3
It doesn’t mean they don’t love you! We had a good bit of declines. And some were very disappointing. Everyone has a reason.
And on top of that–there will probably be some people who RSVP ‘yes’ and STILL don’t show up.. that happened to us.
Don’t worry about it! You will be so busy that day and having the time of your life! You won’t even realize that there are people missing. You won’t have time or energy to be sad about it! It will all work out 🙂
be thankful for 100 people who love you
Post # 4
I am sorry.
I am sure you will have a wonderful wedding anyway 🙂
Post # 5
Well, your brother declining is a little strange, but like you said, traveling for a wedding is not going to be feasible for everyone and you can’t take it personally. Do your friends that you thought would come have other reasons besides money for declining? 100 people still sounds like a good sized group- I’m sure you’ll still have a great day!
Post # 6
From someone who had less than half her family there for her wedding day.
Deep breaths. Calm down. Now, remember that they love you and that they are going to be thinking about you on your wedding day. Remember that in the future you are going to be able to see them again and all they’re going to want to talk about is your wedding and hearing all the details and seeing all the photos. You’re going to have a fabulous wedding and it’s going to go by so fast you’ll wonder how on earth you ever thought you’d do everything you wanted to at the end of the night. You’ll look fabulous and you’re going to have a great day.
Post # 7
This happened to us too – several of my closest friends won’t be coming, which made me really sad. We invited 105 hoping for 80, and it was looking like we were only going to get about 60-65. Then some people took back some “No” RSVPs after the deadline and a couple people added in dates that didn’t have +1s….(whole other irritating frustrating story), so we are up to about 72. THe great part is, two of our dearest friends that we thought definitely wouldn’t be able to come actually DID tell us they could come, just under the wire. I know it’s tough, but trust me, you’ll still have a blast – there will be enough people there to interact with that you won’t notice the absences as much!
Post # 8
I’ve noticed when I comes to wedding stuff, people tend to not want to spend the money. They will gladly spend the money on themselves but as far as they’re concerned they aren’t getting anything out of it so why spend the money… don’t take it personally. The people who are there to support you are way more important than the others.