Post # 1
Caytlin’s sister is always calling us, emailing or coming over with paint samples, fabric swatches and other decorating ideas. We value her opnion, but she’s acting as though she’s telling us how it’s gonna be, how are house will look as if she is the one decorating. She asks us what we’d like and when we tell her, she replies, “Oh, that’s not what I had in mind. I don’t like that.” She even told Caytlin that, she (sister) should have the final say since (according to herself) she has better decorating taste. Her style is much more formal than ours, although we do want our diningroom and livingroom to be more formal than the rest of the house. She gives us “advice” in a condicending tone of voice and she thinks she’s better than us. She’s even ordered a couch for our family room that we’ve seen in store and have sat on and just don’t like and have said so—politely. She just ignored us and ordered it. We’ve tried talking to her about this and Caytlin has done so more than I, but she is so stubborn and so know-it-all, that it’s like talking to a brick wall.
What do you think Caytlin or I should say to her? How should we approach this?
Post # 3
Wow, she ordered a couch for you? Did she put up the money for that? Maybe you could get Caitlyn’s mom involved. Perhaps she would listen to her.
Post # 4
Wow, I think you need to get firm with this girl. She obviously isn’t getting the point and is trying to walk all over you both. You need to be firm and tell her that you will not be using the couch in your house and you will not being paying for it since you didn’t not give her consent to order it on your behalf. I think you need to just decorate your house as you choose without inviting her over or asking her opinion. If you really do need advice I would suggest you find somewhere else to turn. When all is said and done you could invite her over again but be firm that you will NOT be changing anything regardless of her opinion. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t need to visit your home. If you’re not comfortable with your ability to be firm in your decorating style I would try limiting her presence in the house. Only hang out with her in other places and when she asks about the decorating politely tell her it’s coming along and change the subject. I would also probably tell her that it’s very rude of her to insult your design style but do it in a way that assumes she didn’t mean to be rude like: “we know you probably don’t mean to be but we’re finding it a bit rude to have our design taste continually degraded.” Give her the benefit of the doubt, for now.
Post # 5
She just shows up at a moments notice. We never when she’ll be over.
Post # 6
Ummm! WTH?! “GET OUTTA MY FACCEEEE” That is what I would say. 😉 Of course, I don’t know the whole story, but nice isn’t getting though and you are being more tolarant then I think I could ever be! Tell her to buy her own dang house!!! Good luck girl! Keep us posted!
Post # 7
It’s time to draw some boundaries with her – especially now as newlyweds.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=boundaries&x=0&y=0 There are lots of books on the market about how to draw boundaries in different relationships. 🙂
Post # 8
If she just shows up then I think you should just stand at the door. Don’t invite her in (keep your doors locked so she can’t just walk in). Tell her you don’t have time for company right now because you’re on your way out, busy paying bills, watching paint dry, etc. You don’t owe her an explanation just say now isn’t a good time perhaps next Tuesday or whenever you could meet up for dinner. Tell her you’re sorry but you’ll really need more notice than just a few minutes. Then shut the door and continue on with your day. It’ll probably piss her off at first but she needs to get the point.