(Closed) Deep down how important is the "surprise" aspect of the proposal??

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Do I feel like I would miss out if the proposal isn’t a complete surprise? No. All that matters to me is that the man I love, loves me back and will be asking me to spend the rest of my life with him.

I know what the rings look like – I picked them out with his help and both will end up being shipped to my house since I’m home more than he is at his place so I can sign for the packages. I know roughly when it will be. I have an idea of how he’s planning on it because he and his friends can’t keep their voices down and forgot that I have awesome hearing and that some windows aren’t soundproof Tongue Out But I don’t believe any of that will take away anything from how significant that his proposal will be to me.

Post # 33
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel like I’m in the minority here, but I think the surprise is everything.  I had no idea a proposal was coming, and I’m so glad for that.  When my fiance asked me to marry him, I was completely blindsided.  I was shaking, and crying, and so happy.  I’ve never felt that way before, and I don’t know if I ever will get to again.  It was the most amazing thing.  I’m so so happy that it was a total surprise. 

To each their own, but knowing how wonderful it felt, I just can’t fathom why other people want to give it up.

Post # 34
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I read no responses… but it was very important to not know when it was coming.

Post # 35
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
@Miss Circe:  THIS! As long as the man I love asks me to be his wife and spend the rest of my life with him, then the how, when and where it happens aren’t important. Obviously a surprise proposal would be nice, but being involved in the ring design and knowing my SO has hidden it somewhere in the house hasn’t taken away from the fact I’m ridiculously giddy about our upcoming anniversary weekend (Nov 16-18) and my suspicion that this will be when he asks me.

Post # 36
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

we hashed out our budget/timeline (he’s in a PhD program which makes things kinda nuts!) and picked out the ring together so THAT part of the proposal isn’t a surprise. How/when he does it IS. I know he has the ring (I may or may not have accidentally stumbled on the box….he’s crappy at hiding it! I wasn’t looking for it but honestly who keeps it in your desk drawer in our SHARED HOME) and know he’s getting anxious to pop the question…ahhhhh

Post # 37
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

I honestly thought I really wanted to know the exact date or really close to the exact date because I was so frustrated not knowing when it will happen, but after the proposal I had changed my mind about that. I think it’s best to have some element of surprise because it makes it better that way and lets him plan something that comes from his idea and from his heart. I prefer to know if it will happen within like a 3-4 month period (especially if you would like to know where your relationship is headed). But I prefer the actual proposal date to be a surprise. Besides, if it doesn’t happen by said expected date, then it would be a huge disappointment.

Post # 38
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@blueberries123:  Even though we’re pretty much engaged already, its still not official until he proposes…. and I don’t care that it won’t be a surprise because I already know I get to spend the rest of my life with him, and that makes me happy. 🙂 

Post # 39
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Absolutely wanted a surprise proposal and got it! Sealed 

I wanted to be surprised so much that I refused to talk about rings, weddings, asking my mom for permission, etc whenever he brought it up.  I catch onto things very quickly and have NEVER been surprised so I was surprised that he pulled it off and I was surprised! Smile

Post # 40
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I can say that I wanted a surprise proposal so bad… then it literally took over my thoughts and I became slightly obsessed with it (we were together about 3 yrs and living together for 2.5 so I felt like he was wayyy too comfortable!)…. once I finally calmed my a$$ down and dealt with the relationship one day at a time, I felt like a peace come over me. 

About 2 weeks before my birthday he said, “hey don’t make any plans for your birthday” and at that exact moment I knew it was coming. I couldn’t help the cheesiest smile on my face as I stammered, “o-ok”

Fast forward 2 weeks and, even though my heart was racing most of the day as my mind kept thinking, is it about to happen now? How about now? lol…. 

Then FINALLY at like 10:30 that night, after a full day (and I was about to give up hope), the last thing he did was get on his knee and say “oh there’s one more thing I wanted to give you…” omg it was beautiful. 

So long story short, I’ve always imagined how awesome it must be to have this huge surprise of a proposal, but now I really do think that the cliche is true- I actually find joy in telling people I knew it was coming 🙂

Post # 41
Member
3245 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m not sure if I will care about being surprised or not by the time it happens. It would be nice, but it would be nicer if it would actually just happen already!

(Bad waiting day, sorry.)

Post # 42
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I actually hate surprises.  But, I would really like a whole thing planned out for me.  I just don’t care if I know in advance that it’s coming.  I know it’s coming soon, but I don’t care if I know how soon.  Does that make sense? lol

Post # 43
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Not super important. I sorta knew it was coming, but was still surprised about when he actually did it and that was nice but it’s really no big deal. The details (the location, what he said, the timing, the general romance of the setup) were way more important.

Post # 44
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I guess it depends how you define “surprise” proposal. I know it’s coming and we went ring shopping together. So none of that is a surprise, BUT the when/where/how will be a surprise and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have waited a long time to get engaged and I want a romantic proposal story!! There are few stories in my life I’ll have to tell over and over again like a proposal story- so I want to have a good one!! I think mostly bc a good friend of mine (i was her MOH) got engaged after 10 years of dating in an anticlimactic way and wished she had a better story to tell and was tired of people asking her about it. They still had a gorgeous wedding though and are happily married.

Post # 45
Member
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I didn’t care if it was a surprise. I also think no proposal should fully be a surprise, like “Surprise will you spend the rest of your life with me, I expect an answer right now?!!” Obviously if both people are on board with getting married and what that timeline is, then when/how you get the ring exactly isn’t that important, so it’s ok for it to be a surprise.

Post # 46
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We picked my ring out together and I was with him when he put a payment down on it.  So I knew the ring was coming.  However we both agreed we wanted the surprise proposal.  So even though I knew the ring was coming, I didn’t know when.  And I’m glad I didn’t know the exact moment.  He still got to surprise me and my proposal was perfect for me. 

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