(Closed) Deep down how important is the "surprise" aspect of the proposal??

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 48
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’d assume that unless your SO specifically gives you the date, time, location and details of his proposal then it would be a surprise to some degree for everyone.

Post # 49
178 posts
Blushing bee

Doesn’t matter one bit, all that matters is that I get to spend the rest of my life with my better half. 

Post # 50
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My Fiance and I talked A LOT about our wedding and future before the proposal. We have been together for 11 years…so we had a lot of time to talk about it. I knew he had an heirloom ring available and we had talked about how we would reset it. I had no doubt in my mind that we would get married….but I was in no hurry. I didn’t think he was either.

So, I was COMPLETELY surprised when he proposed. It’s funny because neither of us were in a hurry to get married and we thought we would have a long engagement. But, now that it is real…we.cannot.wait!!

I guess I got the best of both worlds…a complete surprise…and I get to pick out my own setting! I couldn’t be happier!!

Post # 51
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@blueberries123:  If the surprise isn’t your thing then why wait? Ask him yourself ^-^ then you get everything you want ring+engagment 😀 

We actually got “engaged” the first day we meet (we meet and talked online first of course). We both knew and just started talking about our wedding. Meeting was just kind of a “yep for sure” kind a thing xD so there wasn’t even an actual proposal. When wespiked a date we officially told everyone. But we do ask each other to “marry me” as a next level up to saying “I love you” it’s fun and makes me giddy with joy ^-^

Post # 52
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Fiance ruined his own surprise, he showed me the ring the night before he proposed! He was so excited he couldn’t contain himself… was pretty cute! I wasn’t happy when he made me give the ring back and said I couldn’t have it till the next day.

Post # 53
1618 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My husband intended his proposal to be a surprise, but I knew well ahead of time what he was planning.  The fact that I knew what was happening and when it was going to happen changed nothing about my ecstatic joy when he proposed.  Honestly, speaking as someone who has only been proposed to one time (haha), nothing could prepare me for the feelings I felt when he proposed.   So, no, in my opinion the surprise element is not that important.

Post # 54
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it depends on what type of person you are.  I personally don’t really like to be surprised, I always want to know what is happening so I can be prepared.  FI on the other hand LOVES to be surprised, for example she loves it when I randomly surprise her with a surprise date and don’t tell her where we are going.  I would hate being taken on a surprise date, I want to know where I am going! So when I proposed to her I knew it was important that it was a total surprise, she had no clue it was coming and for us it was perfect.

Post # 55
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This will be my 2nd marriage.  Nothing about my 1st marriage a fairy tale.  Not the proposal, and I didn’t have a wedding.  My SO knows how much that bothers me so he is doing everything he can to make sure I get the proposal and wedding I have always wanted.  The ring I know is one of two – so which one he chooses will be a surprise.

Post # 56
217 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@Creiddylad:  I hear you. you are not alone. I feellike The ring is about a year overdue so… Every day I wait is a day way too long. has it ruined it? Yes, absolutely. But I still do love him and I think once we get through this the marriage will be good.

i think the moment will be ruined, but in the days following the happiness and relief at being able to move forward will make up for it. I am still excited.. Just in a different way.

Post # 57
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t get the surprise thing AT ALL.  I mean, how have you not discussed getting married?  And if you have, how could the proposal be a surprise?

Maybe it’s just because I’m older, but I just wanted to get married.  I don’t need a “great story” because really, who cares?  Honestly, I’m not even sure when I got engaged.  We knew within a month of meeting that we were getting married, and I don’t even remember who brought it up.  Within 2 more months he had met my family and talked to my parents about us getting married, then we went ring shopping, I picked out a ring and he bought it.  Since I knew we were getting married, I bought a dress.  The next day the ring came in, we went and picked it up, we went out to a 5-star restaurant for dinner, he gave me a lovely speech and gave me the ring.  I guess he asked me to marry him at that point, but we already knew we were getting married, so it was just a fun formality.  Everyone already knew we were getting married, and we did, 4 months later.

I think people place WAY too much importance on the proposal.  I’d certainly rather be me than one of these girls who waits for years because her boyfriend comes up with excuse after excuse.

Post # 58
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ll be honest, at this point I could care less about it being a surprise. I know it’s coming in the next two months already, so it won’t be a complete surprise. I mean, I don’t know exactly how it will happen, what the ring will look like exactly, or on what exact day it’s coming. But I do know it’s coming and that’s all I care about.

Post # 59
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

‘Surprise’ was VERY important to me because I didn’t want a surprise. I didn’t want a public proposal either. I let him know that though and told him I’d say no if he did that to me. He planned a private proposal in public which I would have been okay with but I ruined it by being grumpy and he proposed a week early while we were at home. It was perfect, exactly what I wanted.

Post # 60
1220 posts
Bumble bee

@blueberries123:  I’ve been thinking about how to answer this since you posted it. I guess that there’s a part of me that would like to be surprised by the proposal, but because I’m apparently a bit of a control freak (never thought I was before now!), I feel like I can’t just sit back and wait for it to happen. Like, I need action NOW! I’m driving myself nuts, and I need to chill out and enjoy this time. I know it’s coming, but i don’t know when, and that’s because he’s working that out. But yeah, if I had my way, the way I’m feeling right now, I’d be happy to forgo the surprise in order to get this show on the road. But, I know my SO and that’s not how it’s gonna be and I have to suck it up and shut it up and just deal with it. So i’m kinda “meh” on the whole surprise thing, but a surprise is what i’m getting. Hooray. lol

Post # 61
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

For me it was very important! It meant that he took some effort and thought. I am glad he didn’t just pull out the ring while we were sitting on the couch some night.

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