Post # 1
My previous post was about FI wanting a larger/local wedding instead of planned destination wedding to a beach house that would sleep our entire wedding. Well the real reason came out.
I’ve never met her but heard all the stories. She lived 14 hours away and ADORES FI but treats everyone else like shit. She’s one of those miserable people who love to put people down, hard drinker, verbally abusive, but always the victim. Well, he’s never experienced that because he’s her favorite but a few examples from other people..
-His grandpa (her ex) said that if anyone was ONE minute late for dinner, she’d make them hold the trash bag open and throw away dinner. No one could eat.
-She recently went to another grandchild’s wedding and got sloppy drunk, sat in married men’s laps, openly/loudly critized everything, bride cried.
-Cussed out FI’s sister calling her a bitch, gold digger (she works full time?), etc. It’s like she glorifies men but HATES all women…
Anyway- Well she refuses to fly, drive, take a bus, take a train, etc to get here for the wedding. FI is going to have to drive FOURTEEN hours one way to get her before and take her back.
I’m so defeated. I just want to call the whole thing off because she’s going to be a nightmare. I think I could emotionally handle some of her wrath but I think my family would go ape shit if she pulled anything in front of them. We even considered getting her a nice condo that’s literally next door that other offsite people will be staying but everyone is saying that she’ll show her ass more if she’s “excluded”.
Any advice? I’m thinking we’re going to have to elope to avoid this but it breaks my heart that my family will be excluded over one bad apple 🙁
Post # 3
@sweetdee522: I wouldn’t change a thing for this broad…I get that your FI is her favorite and she is, in no uncertain terms a soul eating harpie…if it were me, I would still have everything I wanted and add a little side action betting pool regarding grandma’s behavior over the weekend, winner takes all.
# of times she sits in some other dude’s lap
# of time she makes someone cry
# of drinks consumed….
you get the idea. Anyway, if your watching her because you have money riding on it, it won’t be upsetting, and if you involve your family, that pool could get pretty big! High stakes betting is always an answer when dealing with an emotionally unstable mess of a person at your wedding…got anyone good with numbers? Your going to need a bookie for all that action.
Post # 5
Don’t change your wedding for her! Just warn everyone about how she can be and try to ignore her as much as possible.
Post # 6
@sweetdee522: We did the same thing when my grandfather got remarried, she was awful, and I think my cousin won over $500….we had a count for number of times her maid of honor tried to show someone her boob job…mind you, these women were both 67!
Post # 7
@Nona99: Oh my god. That’s amazing.
@AlwaysSunny: Love your name. 😉
Post # 8
@Nona99: Did you get any pictures?!
Post # 9
TO Nona99: Oh my gosh… spurting out tea on my computer here…
This is by far one of the best “switch up” the bad news for good… make lemonade out of lemons post that I’ve EVER read here on WBee for a Bride beside herself with anguish…
NONA I too could (( HUG )) you
Your idea might not etiquettely or politically correct, but it is truly brilliant
If someone is going to be a train-wreck anyhow… ya might as well sell tickets !!
— — —
TO sweetdee522 and if you can’t bring yourself to do something so “vulgar” yourself (lets face it here… this is pretty RUDE behaviour and a sh!t-storm waiting to happen if Gramma should get wind)
There is always the prospect of Eloping as you say… nothing wrong with an Elopement to a nice Destination Wedding and a Romantic Honeymoon
Lol, you could even Elope to a wonderful Beach House in Destin Florida, I think I know of one that might be available your weekend…
You might even let it slip to a few SELECT Friends & Family where you are… they could always “drop by”
Just saying… 😉 **double wink**
Post # 10
@Nona99: Your post made my day!
Post # 11
@This Time Round: I totally thought about that. “Well we happened to elope and all these people showed up! Oops!”
But, FI loves her and wants her there so I told him that he’d have to 200% be supportive of me and talk to her about how important it is to keep the crazy inside for 2 days. I warned him that my family is straight trailer park (in the best way possible) so I was not responsible for the response she evoked. 😉
Post # 12
Plan your desination wedding. If she really doesn’t travel, that means she won’t be there to ruin everybody else’s good time.
Post # 13
@AprilJo2011: Well FI is saying that if no one that lived closer to her would pick her up, he’d drive FOURTEEN hours one way to get her. She plays the poor, pitiful me on him everytime he talks to her so he feels obligated.
Post # 14
@sweetdee522: I see trouble on the horizon. If this woman has your FI under control, imagine what will happen when she decides she needs great-grandchildren, like, yesterday? Your FI needs a reality check to understand how manipulative she is.
Post # 15
Have you thought about just sitting down with FI and telling him your fears? How long have you two been together that you have never met this woman? The only reason I’m asking is this…my FI made an agreement that if we havent seen them in the year prior to our engagement, they werent coming. We did not do it to be mean or rude at all. We had no choice. My FI has a HUGE family and we had to cut a family of over 600 to less than 200 that had to also include my small family and both of our friends. It seems to have worked out, but then again, my wedding isnt for another week. Best of luck to you, I hope you two can come up with a mutual agreement.
Another option, vallum…just make sure to pop them in her drinks before…maybe she’ll be happy crazy grandma. TOTALLY JOKING!
Post # 16
@AprilJo2011: I don’t really forsee many problems after the wedding. We’ve been together 3 years and I’ve never met her and she calls like once every two-three months. He’s just adament on “How things should be” and refuses to leave her up there during our wedding. I mean I get it because they have a good relationship and he doesn’t want to hurt her. I don’t think it’s a matter of control since he realizes her bad behavior and will support me but wants her there.