Post # 1
I just posted this as a comment to a post, but realized I want to hear further opinions on the topic =]
I’ve found myself defending the Bee before. I’ve tried to share it as a supportive community to a few friends I thought would understand, but they all gave me weird looks. One of them even found ring-related receipts, etc. in her FI’s stuff so I tried to encourage her to check the site out since that topic is so common here and she was all like, “no, I don’t want to get my hopes up in case it doesn’t happen.” But that’s exactly what this site is for! (at least the waiting boards). Some people just don’t get the whole sharing thing. I like having people to relate to. It validates my own feelings knowing that other people are going through the same thing I am.
3 out of 4 friends I told about the Bee are now engaged. And as far as I know they haven’t looked at the site. It makes me wonder if maybe not eveyone goes through the ‘waiting?’
Do you think everyone goes through waiting but some people just don’t want to talk about it? Or maybe those of us who do find our way to the boards are in the minority?
Post # 3
I think it’s just that some people find comfort in talking about it online, while others do not. When I was “waiting”, I would not have wanted to talk about it online. I didn’t even think about it. When I got engaged, I started looking at wedding stuff.
Post # 4
I think many couples don’t go through an actual “waiting” stage but rather move from dating to engagement more naturally. Even if there’s discussion (which there often is), there’s not fixation or anxiety. Of the couples who do go thorough that anxiety stage, many do not turn to the Internet, either because they’re not comfortable in sharing such personal information or because they don’t stumble across a site like this. I do think that tends to skew the image of the “typical waiting bee” we see here.
Post # 5
I think most people are probably aware of when they’re planning on moving to the next stage. I’m sure most couples have a discussion about it. I don’t think the majority of people are just.. surprised out of the blue with a ring and a proposal like they had no idea it was likely to happen. Maybe the proposal style/event itself, but I doubt they’re surprised like.. omg I never thought he would want to marry me too because we never said anything yay!. So I guess if you consider “waiting” in terms of waiting to take that next step, I’d have to assume most go through some kind of waiting. I think for some of us (ones that know about the ring, have picked the ring, have been waiting for a very long time) the waiting period is more pronounced.
Post # 6
I never “waited,” nor had I heard of it. I don’t think most people go through it (at least not to the extent of those on this site), but I think those that do are frustrated and seek support in others in the same position, so they find this site and thus there are a disproportionate amount of “waiting” women here. I like this board for wedding tips and advice since none of my close friends are married yet, but I don’t really get into to the “waiting” threads.
Post # 7
I’ve told loads of my friends about this site, and none of them have joined up. Not even the engaged ones.
There are a lot of… “non-forum” people out there, and the thought of writing things on a forum is a weird thing for some people.
That said, I do think the waiting boards are a good place to go when you want to vent out all your frustation/validate your feelings – because stuff like that is just hard to talk about with ‘real life’ people.
Post # 8
When I was waiting I had found weddingbee, but hadn’t really found the forum. Didn’t realize about that until after I was engaged.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I personally find the concept of waiting in the form it seems to take for most people on the Bee who are waiting is a concept completely foreign to me. We were dating and then we were engaged. Obviously, we tlaked about getting married and the trajectory of our relationship, but there was no moment when I would say I was “waiting” for a proposal and I didn’t plan or think about planning at all until I was actually engaged. Some people seem to let waiting define them instead of simply enjoying the phase they are in at that time.
Post # 10
@RunnerBride13: + 1
@Kat_Kit2000: I didn’t find out about Wedding Bee until after I had already been engaged for three months, and was googling wedding planning related information. I personally did not go through what you describe as the waiting, but I can see why the waiting boards are helpful to those who struggle with that. Everyone needs support in life.
Post # 12
I never really understood the whole waiting thing. The only thing I ever looked at before I was getting engaged were rings. I just didn’t feel the need to start looking at anything else wedding-related.
Post # 13
I never experienced any waiting worries. When it did happen I was so glad I wouldn’t have to hear ‘you’re next’ from every single peron.
Post # 14
Me personally, I didn’t start looking for wedding stuff/find weddingbee until I knew a proposal was coming. I literally typed “waiting for proposal” in google. I don’t know what I expected to find, but I do think that the bee is a good way for me to get my engagement/wedding fix and not bug my SO about it.
Post # 15
Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I never found this site. I found it pretty early on in what I guess is my waiitng stage (nearly a year ago, currently 3.5 years of dating my SO).
I don’t even remember exactly how it happened, but I was googling rings and youtubing proposals and there it was lol
This site introduced me to timelines and gave me a gage of what to expect in regards to certain things (SO’s potential responses, types of anxiety lol, etc.)
When I’m not on the site I think of myself as more sane in a way lol Sometimes when I spend hours here it makes me feel a little crazed, even though it’s usually out of procrastination. Now it’s more of a habit and curiosity. For example, if I post something I want to know who responded and how lol And most times I ask questions that I actually want answers to that I wouldn’t get elsewhere.
Taking a break from the site seems like a viable option, but it might be too late; I’m addicted lol It definitely did change my perspective on relationships though. Whether for better or worse, it is what it is.
Post # 16
I found the bee while waiting for a proposal, and I found this site EXTREMELY helpful. I’m really a worrywart, a spaz, etc. and these wonderful ladies were great. I started googling “waiting for engagement” and that’s a wrap.
I’m a talker, though, and my job considers confiding very important. I’m always going to want to talk about something.