(Closed) Defending Your Honor?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How would you feel about your SO/DH " defending your honor" in public. Is it OK to you?

    Not Cool----I do not condone yelling/shoving/confrontation in any capacity-

    Maybe----It strongly depends on the circumstances-- but I would be OK as long as no one got hurt

    Yes---I expect my SO to stick up for me no matter what

    Other

  • Post # 18
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I do not believe in confrontation in situations like that. Part of the reason I love my Fiance is that he has never resorted to assaulting another person to make a point. Granted, that’s very situational. If it was a friend or family member who said something about me, I would expect him to say, “It is not acceptable for you to speak about my Fiance that way,” and then leave their presence, possibly permanently. If someone physically hurt/touched me all bets would be off.

    I do think it is important to always be on one another’s side, but I think that is a bit different than defending their honor.

    Post # 19
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    While I’d never want Fiance to pick a fight, I’d definitely expect and want him to stick up for me in a case like this, to the extent of exchanging words with the offending guys who were making remarks.  However, if it went past that, I think that it might be a problem…

    Post # 20
    Member
    9815 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    If it was a comment or a stupid remark, I can handle it myself thankyouverymuch. Ignore and keep walking. I don’t engage with idiots.

    If someone put their hands on me or something, then my husband can tell him to back the eff off. Or I can. Either way, I would not condone him matching the person’s bad behavior or getting into trouble. It’s always best to just walk away.

    Post # 21
    Member
    4304 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My husband would probably snap, however, I wouldn’t need him to do it for me.

    If some asshole talked to me like that in public, I would be defending my own damn honor, F all that noise.

    Post # 22
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    While I have no doubt that my man would defend my honour, I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself. If I need backup, I’ll ask for it but otherwise leave me to it 🙂

    Post # 23
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Gotta agree with some of the other ladies, I defend myself pretty well. I have no problem yelling at some douchebag and telling him to stfu. Fiance would protect me in a heartbeat but he usually won’t go confront someone just for being stupid. He could kick some ass but chooses not to…I don’t have that kind of self control. I must confess though, I find it pretty sexy when he stands up for me.

    Post # 25
    Member
    7286 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It’s pretty situaitonal, but overall, I’m pro defending honor- not in a get arrested/violent way, but reminding the other men ( or women) of the world that speaking or acting a certain way is unaccaptable.

    Im the kinda girl who just ignores things, I wouldn’t give the satisfaction of saying something back, or acknowledging what they did, but thats where me and my husband differ. He wants to let them know through the stink eye,some stern words, etc what flys and what doesn’t.

    My husband is more like yours 🙂

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    5949 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I can take care of myself and Mr. 99 knows that.  I didn’t get married so that he could hammer every loud mouthed asshole on this planet thats stupid enough to say something inappropriate to me, and the fact is that I’m a million times nastier to deal with than he is…so if he did come charging in to save me from some dastardly dumbass, I would probably get pissed that he hogged my fun…I NEVER get to holler at anyone, so having the opportunity as well as motive would be a rare treat for me….and usually I don’t really care, if you hear something awful said about you, turn around and see some tragic malcontent sitting in there with his snickering rat faced friend, life has already punished them far worse than I ever could…carry on losers!

    Post # 28
    Member
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would expect him too and he always has. DH knows I can more than handle myself but he always knows just when to step up. Working in my field, I have had complete strangers, sometimes men, come up to me and blow a gasket. A few times men have grabbed me or thrown stuff at me, DH always steps in then. Even though, when it comes to my job,we have ideological differences, I never waver in the trust that he ALWAYS has my back.

    Post # 29
    Member
    10355 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I don’t call it “defending my honor”. I call it “Becoming an asshat because somebody else is being an asshat”…and I find it neither attractive nor appropriate!

    Post # 30
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee

    If it was just an inappropriate comment directed toward me I’d ask/expect Fiance to keep walking and ignore it because I don’t think random comments are worth acknowledging.

    If someone persisted in harassing me or someone put their hands on me, I’d say something myself, and if that didn’t help, Fiance would probably intervene and say “knock it off.” I hope he wouldn’t take it to the physical level, though, no shoving or hitting or anything. That would embarrass me.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1376 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    KatyElle pretty much said exactly how I feel.

    These kinds of pissing contests can get out of hand REAL quick. Anything that risks arrest, criminal record or hospitalization is not cool, unless my I am actually in danger of being raped/murdered.

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