Delaying the Honeymoon

posted 3 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 2
Member
6840 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

We took our honeymoon almost 6 months after our wedding. It was wonderful! I’m so glad we waited. It gave us something extra to look forward to after the excitement and craziness of the wedding. Plus, it was so much easier to plan! That way I was able to focus on one major event at a time. I cannot imagine how stressed I would’ve been trying to plan my wedding and my honeymoon all at once! 

Post # 3
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We delayed ours. We are going on it this July, and we were married last may. 

I was still breastfeeding our daughter who was only five months old at the time, and I wasn’t ready to leave her, or our son behind. We took a small Vacation after the wedding for a few days with the kids to relax, and revisited the idea of a longer (and childless) honeymoon later. 

The wedding was so stressful on me, I honestly just felt so rushed, even for our little trip. I’m glad we waited.

Post # 4
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

We are getting married at the end of July and taking our honeymoon mid September, so we delayed it less 2 months.

Because of FI’s job, we could only take our honeymoon in September. We wanted an outdoor wedding, but the weather here is only really nice from June-August! We could’ve gotten married in September and gone on our honeymoon right after the wedding, but didn’t want to gamble the weather or have an indoor wedding.

Honestly, I was completely okay with it at first but now that the wedding is approaching, I’m a little bummed about it! It would’ve been so amazing to get to our hotel after our wedding, spend the night, and then leave for the airport the next morning! I keep trying to remind myself that it’ll give us something to look forward to after the wedding and give us time to plan the honeymoon without the stress of wedding planning. I’ve also read that September is the ideal time to visit our honeymoon destination, so that helps keep me positive 🙂

Post # 5
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

annekristie :  it’s pretty common now where I’m from to delay the honeymoon for a few months. More couples are paying for their own wedding and also want a dream honeymoon, they would rather wait a few months after the wedding and go on their perfect honeymoon than go on a budget trip right after the wedding. 

 

Post # 6
Member
343 posts
Helper bee

My Fiance and I had a fight about this and still disagree.

I had a honeymoon all planned out with time off from my job and his. No fancy travel, but plenty of time off to just focus on each other. We are waiting for marriage and will be learning a lot about each other and marriage and living with another person – I will also be moving states to be with him. It’s a lot. So that time was important to me to make that adjustment. 

A couple months ago he got his dream job, which will require him to be at academy 5 AM the Monday after we get married. He will be working 12 hr days, 2 hr commute each way, for 2 months. I was crushed. We have decided to go over Christmas break instead. I had a good cry and it’s fine.  It’s one of many sacrifices I will make over the course of my life for his career. I knew about it when I met him. But here’s where the fight came: I do not consider this a honeymoon.

The concept of a honeymoon is rooted in a practice dating 5 centuries before Christ when newlyweds would get tipsy on meade (honey) to help over the awkwardness of getting adjusted to married life.  It’s a practice that has persisted over the milennia because it is one of those major “great ideas” humanity comes up with every now and then. 

So to me, taking time off or going somehwere nice 6 months or a year after you get married isn’t a honeymoon. It’s a vacation. A nice vacation, but a vacation.  FI thinks a honeymoon is any trip you take in celebration of your marriage. He believes in 2nd, 3rd, 4th honeymoons. I do not. Those are all vacations. The honeymoon is the time off you take immediately (or VERY shortly) after you get married to help with the adjustment to marriage. To get tipsy on the proverbial meade.

When our friends and family ask me where we are going on our honeymoon, I explain that we are not having a honeymoon. Fiance gets mad at this.  When people ask Fiance where we are going, Fiance talks about our Christmas trip. I get mad at this.

He does not want to think we are giving up our honeymoon for the sake of him pursuing his career –  but we are giving it up, and I am glad to give it up for love of him, just don’t try to minimize or deny it by doing a fake one later! Arggggh. 

Please no one interpret this as a criticism of any couple’s decision making around their calendar. This is just how I feel on the subject. 

Post # 7
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Not married yet but we’re going to be delaying ours by about 6 months since the country we want to visit is in the middle of the rainy season when we’ll be married. We’re going to go on a weekend getaway so we still have a day or two together though. We’re calling it a mini-moon!

Post # 8
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee

annekristie :  Not engaged yet, but the majority of my friends delayed their honeymoon.  One friend wasn’t able to go until around 6 months after they got married due to her husband’s work and getting time off, and other’s put it off for financial reasons.  Most of my friends did take once in a lifetime type trips (Europe, Australlia) so it made it easier to save up when they were also paying in part for their weddings.

My boyfriend and I have talked about this and plan on getting married next summer (still waiting for the proposal!) and he would prefer us taking our honeymoon immediately after getting married because we’ll want time to relax after the craziness of a wedding.  My friends that all waited said it was really cool to have something to look forward to, so part of me wants to push it back, even if it’s just for a few weeks.

Post # 9
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

We took ours 10 months after the wedding.  It was hard going back to work a couple days after the wedding, but fast forward to the honeymoon, it was AMAZING to have a second wind of magical newleywed bliss.  I’d just make sure that you can at least take a couple/few days off together before heading back to school and work.  Do a tiny road trip or something, if you can. 🙂

Marriage is compromise, and working together as a team to decide what’s best for the two of you as a whole.

Post # 10
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

TeresaBenedicta :  I also call it a vacation not a delayed honeymoon for me. Fiancé and the rest of the world (except for us apparently) disagrees. I guess I just don’t see the point of calling it a honeymoon if it’s not taken right after (~3 months, given jobs).

Post # 11
Member
343 posts
Helper bee

teacher-bee-in-the-sea :  i think for most people its that they don’t want to give up the idea of having a honeymoon.  It’s too disappointing to consider. This is my FI’s motivation as well as wanting to avoid  guilt over his need being the reason we aren’t having one.  

I think not having a honeymoon can have it’s own romance. It reminds me of George and Mary Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life.  I like the idea of starting marriage with a loving sacrifice for the sake of the family we are making together. That will get me adjusting alright!

I think if you want to go on a once in a lifetime trip its better to skip the honeymoon and take that VACATION (ha) at a later time …  because who can plan an elaborate honeymoon on top of a wedding?  I would die trying to do that. 

Post # 12
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

teacher-bee-in-the-sea :  I have to agree too. I think a honeymoon is right after the wedding even if it’s just a weekend away or something. I’m not saying it’s bad/wrong for people to not go on a honeymoon right after the wedding but for myself, it was important that it be a “true” honeymoon especially since Fiance and I vacation together already. It makes it more special for us if it’s right after. 

Post # 13
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

annekristie :  we aren’t married yet. We will be May 10th. We are delaying our honeymoon because we are trying to save money and also because I’m still on a probation period at my job and wouldn’t be able to get time off unless I work over time to cover my days off (18 month probation and I’m at a year😣). However, we might only delay it until October of this year. Nothing is concrete yet.  I’m not really too stressed about it tho. 

Post # 14
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

TeresaBenedicta :  your post made me LOL. I love how you articulated the “honeymoon” vs. “nice vacation.” I totally understand where you’re coming from. If we didn’t have so much going on right now I would have loved to go on a honeymoon right after the wedding. I love the feeling you get when you’re driving to the airport or wherever your destination is, all packed up looking forward to the trip. 

Post # 15
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We only delayed ours by about 3.5 weeks, but a friend of mine delayed hers by about 8 months. The company her Darling Husband works for denies most leave (basically, anything more than 1 day) in January/February because they’re so busy and need all hands on deck. They got married in January. He started working there after they got engaged and booked a wedding date, so there wasn’t much they could do about it. Then they decided that, if they’re already putting the honeymoon off, they may as well wait a little longer so that they get the best possible weather. As her Darling Husband had been in his position a little longer, it also meant that he had a little more annual leave up his sleeve so they got an extra week for their honeymoon than originally planned.

She said that it didn’t make the honeymoon any less exciting – it was still the first holiday they had been on as a married couple (beyond one or two weekend trips to see family) and it was definitely more extravagant than anything they would book normally. She also said that it meant that once they got all the wedding stuff out of the way (sending thank you notes, getting the dress cleaned, etc) they still had something to look forward to.

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