(Closed) Demon children – but family…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d tell them that your only having siblings kids at the actual ceremony and no other children to the ceremony or reception.  12 out of control kids, will not be any fun for you or your guests.

Post # 4
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally sympathyse with you and for the exact same reasons, i wont be inviting my nephews and neices…..(grown ups)  because their children are little savages.  like yours they eat with their hands……Spag Boll!  and wipe them ANYWHERE!  furniture,  walls,   YOU….they are between 4-12.   and all the family wont now invite them to even a barbeque in the garden because they are such animals.  but its the parents faults…..

so to save any of that i am not inviting them,  and have told them if i invite them, i would have to invite ALL the rest of the family which makes our small intimate wedding quite a bit bigger than we want.  a small white lie….buts its basically true aswell.  we DO want a small wedding,  but there would have been room for another 12 family members if they would behave like human beings instead of pigs. 

your biggest mistake really was to mention it in the first place,  now you might have to invite them or risk upsetting them.  maybe just tell them you are downsizing the wedding and even THEY are not invited now……it might be the only way to keep the kids away.    good luck  🙁

Post # 5
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

OMG! I can’t stand it when people think a wedding is a free for all and not about the bride and groom. 12 feral children at a wedding do not mix! IMO, I wouldn’t care who I offended, people need to be put in their place and that children who behave like that will not be tolerated at your wedding. Your wedding is not the place for them to have an “experience”

Post # 6
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm Fiance and I are having an adult only reception, we dont feel like the reception is a place for kids etc. But we are letting children cousins, etc be a part of the ceremony becasue we feel like that is a family part. Anyways if you make a rule it should be a universal rule. Like no children except those in the wedding party etc. Good luck. Its a fight sometimes but you have to go to bat for what you want your day to be.

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Waves2: exactly, I would have no qualms about telling people they can’t bring their bad ass kids to my wedding. Sorry if the truth hurts their feelings!

Post # 8
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I say don’t invite them! It’s your wedding. I don’t think the ceremony or the reception should be interrupted with children who don’t behave, and parents who obviously don’t care to try to discipline them.

At my FSIL’s wedding, two of her little cousins ran up to the cake table before they cut it and threw the flowers down and smushed the cake. Their parents did nothing.

…Yeah. They aren’t coming to our wedding.

Post # 9
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No one under 18 (or 16)! just make a rule and stand firm!

Post # 10
Member
46609 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you are committed to inviting them just because you found out the aunts’ wanted the cousins invited.

I would invite adults only, and after the invitations are sent out, I would be in touch with the aunts to say that “I’m sorry, we wern’t able to invite the cousins. It just wasn’t possible to invite everyone we would have liked to.”

Post # 11
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL

Look at Evie’s comment “At my FSIL’s wedding, two of her little cousins ran up to the cake table before they cut it and threw the flowers down and smushed the cake. Their parents did nothing.”

That’s what you can expect if you invite these children. The sad part its not their fault they act like uncivilized little brats. Its their parents fault. And the parents are obviously in denial, so talking to them about it will be futile. I say just don’t invite them, plain and simple, without discussion.

Post # 13
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@liquidschwarrtz:

i wholeheartedly agree that they are in denial,  but do you think they might be in so much denial that they will still bring them anyway……because they will ASSUME  they are invited because they are their children?   i hope not. 

 

@Evie19:

Jesus christ!   how awful,  and how disgusting and disrespectful of the parents.           I might even have been so mad that i told THEM to leave and take their heathens with them…..                                                                                                           in those words! 

Post # 14
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@anne B: I think it should be made explicitly clear to the parents that the children are not invited…in the most tactful way possible…but FIRMLY communicated.

Yeah I think my biggest pet peeve are parents who let their kids to whatever they freakin want without any discipline at all. I’m not saying they should be like soldiers…but some situations are just ridiculous.

Post # 15
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lucyh2bee:

Just don’t invite them. If the parents call etc. and demand that they come, tell them you regret that you’re unable to accomodate them. If they threaten to not come themselves, tell them you’re very sorry they’ll be unable to attend. Just leave it at that. Don’t make excuses or justifications or they’ll just try and talk around you.

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