(Closed) Demoting a Groomsmen Advice

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your Fiance should have a serious talk with his friend to find out whether or not he can truly make it or not make to be one of his groomsmen. Personally I think it should be between your fiance and his friend. They should talk it out and then your Fiance can decide what to do. If his friend values your FI’s friendship he should bow out gracefully anyway. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry this sounds like a lot of stress.

 

I really wonder though if he didn’t make it whether it would actually affect your wedding all that much.  And best case scenerio, he would make it?

I’m in a similar boat, I have 6 bridesmaids (1 in France, 1 who will be giving birth 2 weeks or something before the wedding, and my very very very flaky friend from 2nd grade).  Now I don’t actually expect any of them to make it, but they’re who I’d want to stand next to me…no one else.  It’s not a numbers thing.  If they’re not there in person they’ll be there in spirit.  And IMO it won’t change anything if they don’t come…other than not having the pleasure of their company.  I will still walk down the aisle, Fiance will still greet me and we will say our vows and be married.

 

But to your question, I don’t care too much about “wedding rules.”  If I wanted someone out I’d tell them.

 

Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just tell him we would love for you to still attend the wedding if at all possible, but due to your schedule we respect that you do not have the time to devote to additional wedding activities by being a groomsen.

Post # 6
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I really don’t think it is your place to decide. Just leave it up to your fiance to determine who his groomsmen are.

Post # 8
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@Klein2bReidy:  Because your entire post is how you feel. It’s your fiance’s friend, not yours. How does your fiance feel about it? Does he want to keep him in the bridal party? Honestly, it sounds like the groomsman already dropped out but didnt know how to politely tell you guys.

Post # 11
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

From your initial post it is clear you really don’t like this guy, but he is one of your fiance’s best friends. My husband and I make decisions together too, but you need to know when to step back and let your SO make decisions about the things that affect him. I don’t see how this affects you at all. While it seems you are more worried about your wedding, your husband is probably more worried about his friendship with this guy.

Post # 13
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

trust me, you want to find out asap if he is or is not coming – he needs to make a decision one way or the other about being a groomsmen. If he thinks he can’t come, then make him a guest and great, if he can come at the last minute he can.

We currently have not gotten confirmation from a groomsman if he is coming or not with 4 weeks left to go and it is INCREDIBLY stressful, especially considering another groosman already dropped out months ago whom we did not replace.

I feel you on this one. Good lucK!

The topic ‘Demoting a Groomsmen Advice’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors