(Closed) Deployment + BFF wedding = ? for our own!

posted 7 years ago in Military
  • poll: When should we set the date?
    November 2012 : (8 votes)
    47 %
    February 2013 : (4 votes)
    24 %
    October 2013 : (2 votes)
    12 %
    Courthouse : (3 votes)
    18 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1370 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Miss Carmine: I can totally understand you not wanting a courthouse wedding and vow renewal later. I was adamant I wouldn’t do that. I was also very sure I didn’t want to get married just for him to deploy. There’s nothing wrong with feeling like that. It may work for some but it doesn’t wor for everyone.

    With that, we just decided to wait until it was convenient. May 2012 is the convenient time. Originally it was going to be April 2011, then immigration pushed it back really significantly so we chose October 2011. After talking about it a lot we decided to wait because of a November 2011 deplyment, so May 2012 it is!

    My opinion is if you really want to do September 2012 you can and should. It’s ultimately about you and your Fiance and your families. If you really want to wait until October 2013 there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as well. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

    I think you need to have a heart to heart with your Fiance about it. Ask yourself what your priority for the wedding is. Would rather do it sooner rather than later and accept fewer friends at the wedding, or would you rather wait for those friends to be there and for it to be convenient for everyone.

    It’s your decision, not anyone else’s.

    Post # 4
    11 posts
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I had a very similiar situation. He was deploying and we were planning on getting married when he got back home. However, we started talking things through, specifically insurance and housing pay benefits of being married before he got deployed. Ultimately we decied to get married in the courthouse, it was surprisingly beautiful! I was expecting it to be inpersonal and ended up LOVING it I will post a photo. 

    Anyway long story short I would have a nice long talk about it with him what would be best for the two of you. It doesnt matter what others think, which took me a while to come to terms with. But honestly it is about you and your future with Mr. Carmine.

    I am haivng a big reception once the hubby returns from Afghan but no vow renewal. This worked perfect for us! Do what fits you!!

    Post # 5
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I agree with PP’s that you should do whatever you feel is right for the two of you. Being military puts a whole new spin on things… and unfortunately for your friend, it may be more convenient for you to have it in September 2012. Darling Husband and I did a civil ceremony and are having our “big wedding” in March, and that worked for us. The benefits/extra pay you get with being “married” were huge and we also just didn’t want to wait another minute, so we decided to go ahead with it and have the big ceremony a year later.

    Also, what if he ends up deploying early or getting home late? If you did it in Feb you run the risk of him being in the field/on workups (not sure which branch?) beforehand and there is never a concrete date with the military. If you did it in 2013 what if, God forbid, he got extended? IMO there are too many variables in the military to try to plan it around. Your friend should be understanding! Do what makes you happy. If September 2012 is what you want, then do it. If you’d rather wait, then everything will work out fine also and you’ll have plenty of time to plan!

    Post # 6
    1519 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    The heck with what everyone else wants, they have no idea what it is like to be in your situation. I am going the courthouse rouute this May and then the big wedding May 2013. In your circumstances, I would probably wait until the fall of 2013 so that you can do what you want, with no restrictions and no regrets. Talk to Fiance, and listen to what your heart tells you to do!

    Post # 7
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Listen to your heart, have the ceremony you want when you want and schedule a large reception later. Take it from me, its hard to wait I’m sure it is for everyone. We waited and scheduled between deployments and PCS and all that. I wish I would have sped things up and been married last year.

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