- Miss Carmine
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Hi Bees, Mr. Carmine and I are trying to set a date for the wedding but finding it very difficult to do it conveniently under the circumstances. One of my best friends got engaged around Christmas and has set the date for September 2012. Mr. Carmine and I were considering a September wedding as well, but since we are not formally engaged yet with a “ring proposal”, it felt inappropriate to lay claim to September.
I personally don’t mind “sharing” a month with a friend but everyone is a little different (as in, she doesn’t feel the same way and that’s fine). Anyway, the biggest reason why September is now a problem for us is because my BFF and I have a lot of mutual friends and my wedding will be in a different state than hers. To have a September or October wedding would mean many people would have to buy 2 plane tickets, 2 dresses, hotels, take time off from work, etc., for 2 weddings within a short time frame and it’s important to me that everyone is able to come and a lack of money on their part doesn’t prevent it.
November and December are out for similar money reasons: gifts, flying home to see family, plus many vendor rates go up around that time. Also, I work retail and that is a “blackout season” for taking time off. Additionally, I really hate the idea of my anniversery getting rolled up into a holiday.
I was originally considering March 2013 because I felt that was enough distance from any other wedding or holiday related event, but Mr. Carmine recently informed me that his 2nd deployment is being set for the end of March (I use “set” fairly loosely as those with loved ones in the military know).
Because of the uncertainty involving deployments, he prefers one of 2 things; we either have the wedding in February 2013, or we wait until he returns around October 2013.
Maybe I’m being picky, but here’s my thing with February; that was always one of the months I wanted to avoid because of Valentine’s Day! It’s very important to me that my anniversery is a separate event from other holidays and happenings. See, my birthday is the end of January so I grew up with having a lot of gifts that were combination “Christmas/Birthday” and wrapped in Valentine’s Day paper (cause that’s when the stores were putting it out!). I don’t want any of it for my most important yearly celebration!
On a more practical note, we will be marrying in the North Boston area so snowstorms are a concern for our many out of town guests.
Alternatively, waiting til October 2013 is getting a lot of negative reaction from many friends and family we have discussed it with. Although we have explained that we want to save up for a nice wedding to treat our 150+ guests, many feel that, particularly with another deployment on the horizon, it seems strange and shallow to wait if we’ve already decided to get married.
I know that a courthouse wedding is typical of couples in our position, but then I feel like I can’t justify a fancy, expensive “vow renewal” celebration/wedding (?) after. I want the day I get married to be it.
Am I creating too many unnecesary restrictions for myself? Help!