Post # 1
It’s funny how a single day or moment can change the course of everything.
SO’s orders to Korea were terminated today. He was supposed to leave in April 2013 and come back April 2014, with us marrying in May.
Instead, he will be deploying to Afghanistan for 9 months; Feb 2013-November 2013.
Because of this sudden deployment, the training he will go through will make him miss most of October with me…parts of November…and my December graduation with my Bachelors.
I am feeling…unwell?
I do not take it personally…nor am I angry at him…I have dated a soldier before, I know the drill…I mean he’s been before.
But why am I hurting so bad? I feel a hollowness in my chest, a deep, profound sadness. My throat is aching, holding back sobs that I know want to escape. I feel the pain flashing across my face, begging me to just cry, but I won’t. Maybe I feel like if I don’t, I’m being strong.
I know he’s still proposing in November, and discussed renting the cabin next pay period for the Thanksgiving weekend before he goes for more training.
As he cuddled in my arms earlier, he asked me if we could get married in December 2013 instead of May 2014. I ran my hand through his hair and said “Of course we can,” a weak smile he couldn’t see to hide the welling tears. I thought of my One, somehow hurt or taken from me because of this deployment, and it broke my heart.
I am afraid of planning a wedding and getting that knock at the door.
I found my Only, and I don’t want him taken from me. My wedding date has been moved up. I hope it doesn’t cost anything I love dearly.
Post # 3
I don’t know how to reply to this, as my best friend is often left in the same situation. She planned her entire wedding with her now-husband abroad in the Middle East/Asia (exact llocation unknown).
I’d give you a hug if I knew you – and tell you to remain confident in your love for him.
Also, set up a way to stay in touch while he’s abroad.
Post # 4
@dragonlover: Thank you for your encouragement. It’s a hard situation and I know I have to be strong because he depends on me for support. It’s just heart breaking. 🙁
Post # 5
As a vet who is also dating a soldier, I commend your strength. I understand your fear of getting the knock on the door, but your love will bring him home… I’m sure of it. He loves you and you love him very much….if you need to talk to anyone who has been through this, feel free to pm me.
Post # 6
This whole thing is booskittles. I feel for you.
Let yourself have that cry!!
Post # 7
@stillwaiting88: Your post means a lot to me. I just want him to be safe more than anything. The thought of him getting hurt is so painful to me. I was so much more at ease with Korea because I lived there for a long time and I knew there wasn’t such risk…now I only feel fear. I will more than likely take you up on your kind offer for support. Thank you. <3
Post # 8
@MississippiQueen: I’m afraid if I cry, it will become real. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. 🙁
Post # 10
Let yourself feel whatever it is that you are. Everything is acceptable.
Just some thoughts:
I am not sure if this is true (I believe it to be though) or if it will really help, but: Isn’t a deployment to Afghanistan “better” than Korea in terms of your SO’s career? It will look better on his record and is almost like a promotion? So this is a good thing. Plus it means that he will only be away for 9 months rather than a year.
Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you want to hear right now, I always go for a “glass is half full” kind of attitude and just wanted to put those thoughts out there.
Post # 11
I am so sorry you are going through this big hugs to you! I am so glad my military man is now a civilian ( although he is a part time police officer on top of his full time job so I know a tiny bit of how it feels to wait for that knock on the door) I hope his deployment flies by! Remember you always have us bees to help with this slightly different kind of waiting! And like Tickles said this is good for his career. My SO is disappointed that he was deployed to Korea and Germany and never a combat deployment. He feels that he doesn’t deserve the vet title which makes me sad. Hang in there! And please thank your SO for his service!!
Post # 12
You are a strong woman for dealing with this situation the way you are. I really feel for you (hugs).
We are here for you 🙂
Post # 13
@Torrid: Reading this made me cry. I’m so sad for you. I admire people who can be strong at times like this.
I’ll keep him in my prayers, and you as well. Both of you are heroes.
Post # 14
I’m sad for you. =( I hope your together story works out the way you hope.
Post # 15
I commend your strength! Me and my Fiance are working on planning a wedding knowing that he could be deployed at anytime, so I know that fear. Like other before me said, have that cry, it will make you feel better. You dont need to let him go with that thought of a knock on door in the forfront of your mind, cause then you will be even more misrable. Your love for him and his love for you will bring him home safe and sound. I know you hurt, but just keep being stong. I know I and probably a lot of other bees on here will keep you and him in our prayers!
Post # 16
@Torrid: First of all, get that nasty horrible thought about the knock at the door OUT of your head. Do it now!!! You can not do that yourself. I literally almost drove myself crazy b/c I would jump 10 feet in the air whenever I heard an unexpected knock at the door. You will make yourself miserable.
I read a sign once that said “Live like he deploys tomorrow.” While it is not fun to have a deployment hanging over your head, if you follow the rule of that sign, you will be amazed at how much your relatinship grows. Darling Husband and I still fight/argue, don’t get me wrong, but considering what we’ve been through due to the military, we have a closeness and strength between us that I truly don’t think would be there if we hadn’t gone through the deployments, stress, and large amounts of time apart.
Focus on the postive and work hard to keep the negative thoughts out of your head. PM if you ever need somebody to chat with. I’ve been where you are and know how hard it is.