Post # 1
My SO and I already have a date picked out for our big day, and we know where we want it to be, but he has yet to propose. We have designed the ring and etc, now its just a waiting game.
The venue we want is a pretty popular venue in our area, and although the date we want isn’t until September 2015 I still worry about it not being available for our date by the time we are officially engaged. I have expressed this to my SO, as there is no other venue in the area that would even compare. He said he would be fine with putting a deposit down to hold the venue, but still propose when he wants because he has a vision in his head and wants it to be perfect (which I fully understand).
Apart of me feels weird putting a deposit down, without having an “official proposal”. But at the same time, I don’t want to rush him into proposing and ruining his idea, and we both do love this venue.
Post # 3
I would feel uncomfortable with this. The ring, to me, was a symbol of the commitment we were making, and I would not want to put down money on a date until I knew this was actually going to happen. It’s your decision how you handle it, but it’s not a choice I would make.
Post # 4
Honestly, if you have the date picked out, you are engaged. A ring doesn’t not make the engagement.
Post # 5
@Katie918: Personally, I wouldn’t want to put a deposit down for a venue until it was official. He wants to put the deposit on the venue before he proposes, but what do YOU want? If you don’t feel comfortable or it’s not want you want, then don’t do it.
Post # 6
@Katie918: i did it and have no regrets! In my case, my FI would lose money just as I would’ve if he backed out. I did however feel confident in my decision to book the venue because he did have the ring and I was just waiting for the proposal.
Post # 7
i wasn’t willing to risk losing our date and there weren’t too many venues in our budget that i loved. Our venue meant more to me than my dress 🙂
Post # 8
Have you confirmed the date with all your VIPs? Family, bridal party, ministers (if applicable), etc.?
Post # 9
@cutiebomb7789: Both of our immediate families know our date. As for minister I’m not exactly concered about that. We both just love the venue and the date chosen has some significance to me, so I dont think I’m willing to change it.
Post # 10
@Katie918: If he’s fine with it then go ahead, you’ll obviously be really dissapointed if you miss out! We’d had an official proposal/engagement before booking our venue but have to have a long engagement to get that venue, we booked 18 months in advance and they already had bookings for weekends 12 months after ours!
Post # 11
@Katie918: I’d say go for it, but make sure both your names are on the venue contract so that if something happens and you don’t actually get married (or even “officially” engaged) you aren’t stuck paying the venue without his help.
Post # 12
@Katie918: I have a venue booked and no ring. He put the money down for the deposit of the venue. We are working on the ring as I want something really different that is not available and needs to be custom made.
Today we went to see different churches in the area. For us it was a mutual, well thought and discussed decision and we couldn’t be happier with the way it’s going. We will both be paying for our wedding. And he was the one who payed the deposit. It was his idea. Sounds like your guy thinks similar to mine. We were afraid of losing the date and actually we did.We originally wanted January 2015 and within a week they sold January, February and most March. Except March 21 so he said let’s take it. Let’s do this. I think that’s commitment enough. And he says when we have the ring he still wants to do something special to make it official. Win win 🙂
Post # 13
@Katie918: I would do it! My venue is already filled up for September 2015, so proabably the sooner the better.
Post # 14
@Katie918: I dont understand why so many people say no. I did this and I’m just as married as anyone else. We put a deposit down on our venue in OCtober 2012 for our September 2013 wedding. I got my ring on New Year’s Day 2013. My husband is in the military and wasnt home until around Thanksgiving 2012 and the good venues in NJ tend to book up quickly. A ring is not a requirement of an engagement.
Post # 15
@Katie918: I would put down the deposit but only AFTER you find out if the deposit is refundable/non-refundable and if you can change the date (in case you need to push it back for whatever reason) without incurring additional fees.
Post # 16
@Katie918: Put the deposit down! You two are already engaged, you just don’t have the ring yet. My FI and I were in the same situation last year – he had bought the ring, we’d picked the date etc but he was just waiting to propose until he thought he could surprise me. We booked the venue AND photographer in November so we didn’t miss out. He proposed in December and it was wonderful, now we are planning for our wedding this year and I’m so pleased I already have the big decision of venue out of the way!
@jbh13: +1 I agree with this 100%