Depressed after wedding??

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee

diamondgirl523 :   I think it’s because the whole wedding planning process throws you into a different world where it’s quite exciting (and stressful too). Trying on beautiful dresses, looking at cute floral and table arrangements, tasting delicious wedding cakes…all the little details you’re planning into that one special day. It’s like blowing a balloon that keeps getting bigger and bigger then it reaches a culminating point so it bursts then it’s over. 

It’s funny because most of my friends are glad their weddings are done and over and they say they don’t miss it all. I only have one friend who is still sad her wedding day came and went and she says she even misses communicating with the vendors. Not sure if it’s because her parents paid for her wedding while the rest of my friends who say they don’t miss it had to pay for everything themselves. 

 

Post # 3
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Its very normal!
I’ve now been married for 2 and a half years; the lost feeling for me went within the first year. However it can be really sad to realise that no else is as interested in your wedding as you are. Try and plan positive things to keep you distracted. Gradually show all your friends who might be interested the wedding photos…
Plan something intimate and awesome for your anniversary?
Darling Husband and I go out with our parents (sometimes our brothers too) for an anniversary meal every year.

Post # 4
Member
1665 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Super normal. 

I have friends who still mourn their wedding day haha

Post # 5
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I always feel like this if I don’t have a project to work on… we just sold our old house, purchased the new one… then planned the wedding.

I’m now planning the honeymoon (always knew it would be delayed after the wedding…), so that’s my next thing to focus on. It’s just how I am. If I don’t have something in my personal life to focus on, I get depressed and feel useless…

Post # 6
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee

This may be totally off base and I’m not sure where you are located, but have you considered that it might be seasonal depression? Are there any other things that have changed in your life — did you stop a pre-wedding exercise or diet plan (exercise staves off depression and you’ll def feel better when you’re eating healthy), switch birth controls, or change any other medications? Or did you just go from being super busy to not knowing what to do with yourself? Any other life changes like a move? 

It sounds like PPs have experienced similar things so I’m not saying this isn’t related to the wedding, but I just wanted to throw out there that there could be some other reasons for it. Seasonal depression hits me personally around this time of year (and it’s definitely seasonal because I only experienced it when I moved north). There can be a lot of reasons for mood shifts, and you also might be noticing these things more now that your energy is less focused on the wedding. 

If it’s more related to your cicrumstances — feeling like you don’t have something to be excited for anymore, or not knowing what to do with your free time — then perhaps it’s a good time to take up a new hobby or make time for an old one or get involved in your community somehow. Or write up a list of goals and think about what you want in your life in the next year, next five years, etc. For me at least, focusing on small, concrete things I can do makes me feel better, especially when I’m feeling depressed and unmotivated. 

Another thought: make a list of things you’re grateful for. This might also be a good time to take stock of those things and focus on how to enjoy them. Could you be putting more effort into your relationship — planning a date night soon, for example? Or your friendships or family relationships? Plan a girls night, or just give a close friend you haven’t talked to in a while a call? 

Post # 7
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve felt kind of happy and sad since the wedding! Happy that it was so perfect, photos are lovely so far, married the man of my dreams and that I finally can properly save up for something else again.

I am really sad that I don’t get to do it again (hopefully!) because I did love the planning, however stressful and expensive. The day after the wedding I think was one of the weirdest days of my life and I almost avoided looking at photos because I just didn’t want to accept it was over.

I am throwing myself into bridesmaid duties and planning for my friends hen party and we have some house things and honeymoon to plan. 

I agree with PP; unless I have a project or am busy, I get deflated. I used to hate the first few days of summer holidays because felt like I had nothing to do! (Weird, I know). Write a list of everything you guys want to achieve in your first year of marriage (big things and little things e.g weekends away, decorating bathroom, hobbies) and work towards those. We have a list we made just after the wedding and we are ticking them off as we go along. 

Post # 8
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

It’s very normal!! It happend to me right after we got engaged, then halfway to the wedding and then right after the wedding. It was the craziest thing! I have battled anxiety and clinical depression for a long time, but I didn’t understand why it was all of a sudden at its worst during those three moments.

There was even a time, on the second day of our honeymoon before we left on our trip I woke up at 2 in the morning and sobbed like a baby for a solid hour or so. I didn’t know what I was upset about really, but it was therapudic. It went away in about a day or so and then I was filled with joy afterwards.

Keep your chin up, let your partner love on you <3 I also suggest unfollowing wedding boards on pinterest and what not, because some times you just need a break! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

Oh man, I am so glad to hear this is normal for others too, i’m already sad my wedding will be over too soon and I have only been engaged a month 😂. I think I actually really miss the boyfriend/girlfriend days where I would send him ring hints and day dream about him proposing. So I’m afraid the same thing will happen after I’m married…. nothing to daydream and obsess about!! 

 

And we don’t want kids so the wedding is like…it. The last big thing. 

 

Don’t worry, you can plan a vow renewal or beautiful anniversary trips! I like the advice from PP! 

Post # 10
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I remember feeling a little lost and depressed in the wake of my wedding.

We’d been engaged for a year and a half. The first part of it was complete HELL due to my narcissistic/abusive mother alternating between uber micro-managing the wedding planning process and trying to get me to call off the wedding (such fun!). Our already frail and strained relationship actually ended over her behaviour. So on top of a year of hell AND becoming estranged from her (and my whole family by association) Darling Husband and I had to replan our entire wedding from scratch about five months before the big day…right down to me buying a new dress! Plus, I had started a new job the weekend after we got enaged, so my entire time spent working there up until that point was with the mentality of saving up towards the wedding.

Sure, I’d just been through one of the hardest year and a halfs of my life. Sure, by the time I got to my wedding day I was so emotionally drained a part of me just couldn’t be excited and I just wanted to ‘get it over with’. But I still felt so lost in the wake of all this. Like…what was my new objective in life? When something consumes you so deeply for so long, it’s hard to switch gears!

After stumbling around in a seriously bummed out haze for several weeks, my next ‘objective’ presented itself as Darling Husband and I began the hunt to buy our condo. Of course, nothing I do is complete without a little drama…right down to the incompotent person at the bank handling our morgage mismanaging our paperwork and us almost losing our condo…and the worlds worst closing date of December 21st….a cold, grey, rainy AND snowy day. Oh yes, and Darling Husband almost breaking my foot when he kicked a heavy cart out of his way and it veered of course and ran over my foot at speed…so the last half of the move I was limping (such fun).

After that, I got wrapped up in seven months of TTC…and the emotional rollercoaster that is! Now I am pregnant and going through getting ready for baby.

My point is that life will keep presenting you with new things to look forward to and work towards. The advice I wish I kept remembering to tell myself is to enjoy these ‘down times’ as you never know how long they will last 🙂

Post # 11
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

Glad to know I’m not alone! We just got back from our Canadian Rockies wedding and I feel a little sad and lost. We just have the reception left. Maybe planning the honeymoon will make me feel better lol!

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