Depressed and isolated

posted 12 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

The Bee is always here for you to vent. First, go back to therapy. 

Can you cut back just a bit on your work hours, say down to 60 hours? I know you have debt–keep working on the debt but maybe just a bit more slowly for a while. Some of your current feelings could be due to plain old burnout. Life is a marathon and not a sprint. 

If your friends back home are still knee-deep in the party life they haven’t progressed as much as you think they have and if they couldn’t find a way to keep in touch even though you’ve stopped drinking not the best people/friends.

Congratulations on maintaining your sobriety!! That is an accomplishment. Go back to AA without seeing age and just pay attention to whether or not you click with someone. Some of my closest friends are 20-30 years older than I am. 

Do you enjoy animals? Have you ever considered volunteering at a shelter or the Humane Society? Playing with animals really is good for you and you may meet other animal lovers. Other options could be volunteering at your local farmer’s market, etc. Something more than just work and home. And exercise is a natural anti-depressant.

You sound as if you are a very directed and together woman, working hard to pay off debt and making responsible choices. Don’t assume everyone else has a better life–most people are dealing with more than you know behind closed doors. Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on you and instead of dwelling on past mistakes (that many, many people have made) celebrate how well you have turned things around. Hugs. 

Post # 3
813 posts
Busy bee

It seems to me that you are trying your best here. Everyone makes mistakes-everyone. You seem to have a lot of self-awareness about them and that’s the key to fixing them. Take a break, take a day to relax….you are feeling burned out. Get back int AA and back into therapy. You are doing great, but anyone would run out of steam working that schedule. Hugs.

Post # 4
17 posts
  • Wedding: September 2019

Sometimes life is just HARD. Making friends as an adult is seriously hard.. I would say that I’m “successful” in traditional senses, but I have zero friends. I’ve tried like you, but everyone else is either at a different stage (i.e kids) or is still in the partying scene. Just remember not everyone else’s life is as rosy as it might seem… but at the same time I’m a huge propoent of sometimes things just suck. Don’t guilt your self into needing to “feel better”. Acknowledge the suck, but acknowledge the fact that it will get better. 

Hang in there!! I agree with everything @sweetiemermaid said, you seem very self-aware of how you go to where you are and your schedule would burn anyone out! Give small changes a chance! Join a gym, a book club, volunteer at Big broths/Big sisters, volunteer at a rescue/humane society. Do something for yourself that makes you happy, without the pressure/expectation of making friends. 

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