(Closed) Depressed and just wanting to cry right now

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Uhhhh, just food for thought, as a business owner, we’re hanging on by our toenails as it is…and raises prolly aren’t going to happen for a while around here, but maybe there’s an opportunity for commission or finder’s fees based on what your doing?

Post # 18
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

Are you currently renting or living at home with parents? If it makes you feel any better, I just moved back home to be with my father WITH my fiance after my mom passed away last year and have no plans of moving anytime soon, even after the wedding!

Post # 19
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sunfire: Yes he does LOVE LOVE LOVE his new job. It pays well, he loves the people, enviornment and the work! Its the right company for him because they appericate him right back! He even got his friend that made the 50k a job there too. He got a 20k raise for switching jobs and my Fiance got a referral bonus. Yes this economy is horrid, but if you don’t change out of a dead end job. You won’t advance. Most of your income increase comes during your 20-30s.  You got to take some risks or you might end up pigioned holed.

Post # 20
Member
9967 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@JaneDomani:  As a supervisor who hires, fires and gives raises to my employees, the ONLY thing I take into consideration when giving raises (if/when I have money in my budget to allow for it) is job performance.  Period. 

Anything else is never taken into consideration by me.  Would I penalize a hardworking, single, childless woman by not giving her a raise but give one to a married mother, based only on the fact that she’s married and has kids?  Heck no!!  I don’t even understand that way of thinking.

Post # 21
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sunfire: That’s awesome. But not everyone is like that. World isn’t fair, you should use every opportunity you can. I also think people don’t always realize thats why they are making the decisions they do- but they do. Maybe if you have kids you look more mature? who knows, but it happens.

EDIT: I can say first hand that people with families are less likely to be laid off than single folk. I’ve been in those meetings. Raises and promotions can certainly work the same way.

Post # 23
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee

There’s nothing wrong with raising a baby in an apartment, or waiting a few years before buying a home. That $800 a month you have left over is more than my DH and I have after bills are paid but we’re still setting aside money for a down payment. I already own a condo but it’s too small for kids and we plan to rent it out. If you prioritize, you can absolutely save money and buy a home.  It just won’t happen though, you have to make it happen.

Same goes for your job. Why are you staying in a position that doesn’t offer merit increases or cost of living increases? There’s no reason to stay in a job that doesn’t have a future or offer you growth in earnings and in skills. Get out there and see what’s available.

I wouldn’t ask your boss for a raise based on wanting to have a baby. That’s really not any of their business and I wouldn’t personally feel comfortable with a raise if I felt like it was given in pity. Instead, state your case for why you’ve earned a raise. Stay professional and highlight your achievements. The worst your boss can say is no, so why are you waiting?

Post # 25
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I used to live in an area where houses STARTED at 350k. I moved to an area where houses that are decent can start at 75. I had to take about a 10k paycut to move to the area. BUT the food, gas, ulities are all lower. I am so much less stressed and there is less time spent in traffic too. You might want to consider moving to a more affordable area. Sounds scary but it was the BEST decision I could have made. And I’m really happy here. My life would have been on hold (who knows how long) if I had stayed. I bought my first house at 23, would NOT have been possible where I used to live.

Post # 27
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

View original reply
@Legallyblondiebride:  Yeah, we moved into a two-bedroom for the extra space and so we could feasibly have a baby there.  What’s annoying is we could afford about a $350K mortgage based on our rent, but places in the area require a 20 percent down payment WTF?

Post # 28
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@Legallyblondiebride:  Ours is the same. We have a one-bedroom with 550 square feet, and two dogs. There is absolutely no room. But if you weren’t ready to buy a new place could you rent for another year or two with a slightly larger place?

I’m not sure what industry you’re in but don’t give up on finding a better paying job. I think that the ‘bad economy’ is often a scapegoat for not looking. I totally do it. But I’ve also had three close friends get job offers to bigger and better opportunities in the last month. The sector I’m working in is doing well too, with the best numbers since 2008. In fact, we had cake to celebrate this yesterday. 🙂

Post # 30
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@Legallyblondiebride:  Well, if your boss is out until early October, I’d start looking now. Get your resume together and see what’s out there. If you have to set up some informationals, do it. I hate interviewing and the idea of getting settled someplace new is scary. For me though. I want kids. And if I can’t have them here, I’m going to find someplace else. Plus wouldn’t it suck if you missed your dream job because you weren’t prepared or didn’t bother to look? That’s what I tell myself. 🙂

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