(Closed) Depressed…and planning a wedding

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee

When is your wedding? Can you keep the same vendors and venue, but postpone your wedding without losing any money? I’m anxious and tend to have problems sleeping when I’m stressed, so I totally feel you. I had some crazy shit going on with my job earlier this year, and in combination with the wedding it’s been a lot of stress, very little sleep, and mucho meltdowns as a result. If I could have postponed my wedding, I would have, but it was too late (4-5 months out at the time the stuff with my job started). If you’re far enough out, take one thing off of your plate for now and concentrate on dealing with your house problems and training your puppy.

Post # 4
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Do something that makes you happy. It could be going out with friends, a spa day, take the puppy for a walk, anything. 

I am in a grumpy mood today and I need to get out of this funk. I am trying to motivate myself to workout since afterwards I always feel good. 

Hope you feel more like yourself soon. 

Post # 5
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I agree with pp that as hard as it may feel, you should try to practice self care—do something that makes you happy and try to do it often. It sounds like you are also feeling really anxious about all of the changes going on in your life which is understandable since there are a lot! I’m a super anxious person and find that my thoughts can easily overwhelm me if I don’t check myself–as in, allow myself to have the moment and then stop thinking so much about it. I find that I do better when I’m more social (going out a few nights a week rather than staying home and worrying). It might also help to talk to your fiance about how overwhelmed you’re feeling and see if you can share wedding duties with him (if you aren’t already). Hope this helps!

Post # 6
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

Bee, i’m so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I stress so much about everything happening around me and I can seriously relate, we recently bought a house and got a dog too and the first 6 months after buying the house I felt like I was suffocating!! There is just so much to worry about all the time, constantly. 

I don’t know how to help with your stress about your wedding planning, but the best thing I did when I was down quite a lot was first of all to speak to somebody!  Also reach out to your friends, I’m sure people would be willing to help you out. 

Take time for yourself! 

Post # 7
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

Maybe I missed it, but are you on any medications for your depression?. It sounds like it’s a chronic problem and not something that just started recently. If you are, you may need to get on something else. If you aren’t, you definitely need to see a doctor and get on something very soon. Coming from someone who has battles chronic depression for over 15 years, I know how hard regular life can be. Much less trying to plan a wedding, a fiance with a new job, a new puppy, etc. It’s not a great time, but you really need to focus on you. Please take care of yourself. Everyone in your life would want you to put this before your wedding. Hugs

Post # 8
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

I just wanted to add that it doesn’t matter how happy your life should seem to everyone else or even to yourself . Depression doesn’t care. It can hit you up anytime. Please don’t just sweep this away. Crying every day is not normal. As I said before, please take care of yourself 

Post # 9
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

I have depression and am struggling to get by with the wedding planning too. I’m so happy that you get to share your story because I believe sharing these kind of stories can bring some awareness that depression is real and it can be aggravated during stressful times like wedding planning.

I do find that wedding coordinators or wedding planners can help ease the stress but since you guys just have bought a house, you guys sound like you’re on a budget (like me) hehe. I saw that you said “people were getting impatient” and with depression, people’s judgments and opinions tend to magnify especially during stressful situations. 

I’d say try your best in not being pushed to getting married so soon or having a ceremony so soon. If you’re depressed, anxious, doing it just to please people I’d assure you that you’ll regret it because you’re not living by your rules.

Others are right, take a break, do somethings that will make you happy for a while and come back to plan. Sometimes you just need a break. Good luck!!

Post # 10
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Yup! We got engaged, moved states, he got a new job and my dog was in accident (she’s ok now) all within like 2 months. I’m just starting to feel better now.., 3 months later. 

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

 

View original reply
anon159753:  If you are depressed while planning a wedding, see the red flag. Cancel the wedding. This is much less painful than filing for a divorce 6 months later.

Post # 12
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
suzymuffin25:  I disagree, I don’t think stress or depression surrounding plannign the wedding have anything to do with the choice of partner, but rather with anon’s circumstances.  Weddings are *expensive* and wedding planning is *stressful*.  Houses are *expensive*. Lawsuits are incredibly stressful.   Having things break is expensive and stressful.  It can all feel so overwhelming!!!  I think you need to take a break from actively planning — can you take a weekend off from the house, the planning, take the dog and the Fiance and go for a hike? or a bike ride? or soemthing that you find relaxing?  An activity that you can do together without thinking about any of those things?  Recharge your batteries and try not to dwell on the tiny decision points.  You might feel better when you get back to it.  It will get done, one way or another, you can never please everyone, if it stresses you too much to think about it and you really don’t want to get married, call it off!  If you are just stressed by the planning aspect of it, take a break from it.  SOunds liek you’ve already done a lot of work.  Focus on other things or delegate it.   

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
suzymuffin25:  This advice is really extreme. Nothing in the OP’s post suggests to me that her Fiance is responsible for her depression. Depression isn’t necessarily “caused” by anything. While I agree with PPs that she should look into therapy/medication, implying that she’s headed for divorce if she doesn’t call off the wedding just seems reckless.

Post # 15
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

And the most unhelpful advice of the day award goes to…. 

View original reply
suzymuffin25:  

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