- 5 years ago
I’ve posted about this situation a few different times so I am sorry for repeating myself:
I’ve been dating SO for 6 years. I am 23, SO is 25. I am in nursing school and working part time, SO is working full time with a great career. We’ve always planned on getting married and it was always “after we get a house.” We are supposed to be looking at houses this weekend.
All these questions keep popping up: How long will house hunting take? When will we actually be settled down living together in a house? How long will it be before we finally get engaged? Married? Will the engagement be before or after I’m done with school (Spring 2015)?— None of these can really be answered because things just have to work their course…… It could take 1 month or 6 months for us to actually find and close on a house. After that I still have no idea how long it will be before he proposes.
In the past 6 years it has never bothered me like it has until recently. I don’t know if it is because we are taking the next step by FINALLY moving in together because we are now financially able to, or if it is because it feels like I keep getting invitations to someone elses wedding, or a friend or family member is talking about how they just got engaged and are finally getting married. I feel so unwanted. Isn’t 6 years long enough to seal the deal? I understand why he wants to wait until after we get a house to get married as he made that clear from the very beginning. My question is why aren’t we engaged yet? I don’t want to be the idiot who moves in with him and then never ends up getting a ring, even though he has REPEATEDLY told me we are going to get married after we live together.
A few days ago after discussing it with him I got angry and resentful feelings yet again and said “what is it going to take another 6 years for us to get engaged after we’re finally living together?” and it started a massive fight. He replied: “I’ve told you a thousand times I want to get married AFTER WE MOVE IN TOGETHER I obviously didn’t mean YEARS AFTER.”
He hasn’t given me a definite time on when he will propose. I am not going to throw out an ultimatum either. I’m not going to sit here and force him to propose. I know we are definitely going to get engaged, I just don’t know when and waiting is such a nightmare. I also can’t keep bringing it up because every time I do I end up sounding so bitter and angry and it causes a fight. Any advice on how I can calm my nerves?