- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Hello my fellow brides! I really need some advice to help “pick me up”. This is a long story but here goes: My fiancé’ and I have been together for 8 years (we met when I was 16) and he has been my best friend! We were recently engaged on 11/23/11. We are very much so in love and we are both very excited about spending the rest of our lives together. A few days after the engagement, he was offered a job with Boeing in a different state in which they are paying for him to relocate plus living expenses. Because we are not married, they won’t include me in the relocation and I won’t be able to get on his health benefits. Because of this, we decided to marry before moving just to make it official for the move but we were still wanting to do the big wedding later in May of 2013 just as we had originally planned. We thought of going to the courthouse and keeping it a secret just between the two of us but we wanted to still make this special since it was the “official marriage”. The situation got VERY sticky when we asked his grandmother (which is an ordained minister) to marry us this past Friday being that his mother was in town and was leaving on Saturday. She originally agreed and the plan was to have myself, my fiancé, his mother, my mother and his grandmother in attendance. A few hours later, she called and said never mind, that she couldn’t do it because she had a concert to go to on Friday and she didn’t feel that we should get married like this. After that call we received a call from his mother stating that she also felt rushed and that she had plans to go to a lounge with her friends that night since she was leaving the next morning. From there my mother contacted her pastor (which I had never met) and he agreed to do the ceremony. We met that night and went over the vows. After a three hour meeting he then told us he would be charging us $250 which was a bit high! After thinking about it, I told my mom we were not going to pay this man $250 and that the most we could do was $150. After discussing this with the man, he had a HORRIBLE attitude and i REFUSED to allow someone like that to marry us! My mom was LIVID!!! On top of that she had already been trying to control the WHOLE process trying to make me to a particular park in which there was a possibility that we could be kicked out because you have to pay to get married there. She wasn’t trying to hear what I wanted to do at all!! She was just trying to control everything! I finally told her that I was going to have my Great Aunt marry us and that I wanted the ceremony to be held in a public park. Now that this situation was behind us and I had a location that was open to the public and a pastor that was family, I felt better!!! BUT NO!!! IT GOT WORSE! We decided that we could open the door to more CLOSE family so that they can share the experience with us EVENTHOUGH we were still doing the big wedding next year. We ultimately decided to invite only 10 close family members and have my great aunt marry us. I decided to have my mom as my maid of honor and my best friend and my 1 bridesmaid. My fiancé did the same with two of his close friends. He didn’t even have any family there just his 2 friends. The ceremony was beautiful and everything was great until my two aunts (which are very close to me and are like friends) walked off after the wedding without taking pictures or saying much of anything to me! Later on I found out that the world was PISSED at me! My two aunts were mad because I didn’t put them in the wedding and that I chose a friend who they don’t like, my god son was pissed because my Grandmother told him that she accidentally told him about the wedding and that’s the only reason he was invited (which was not true, I had always intended on having him there, but she opened her mouth before I was able to tell him). And even though the wedding was supposed to be a secret I feel like everyone knows! I’m getting Facebook messages from family that I haven’t seen in YEARS saying “I’m so upset you didn’t invite me!”…. And other family member out of state posting on Facebook “CONGRATS TO THE NEWLYWEDS”…. IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A SECRET and now I feel like my big/actual wedding is now compromised! We didn’t even exchange rings and I’m not changing my last name until the big wedding but now I feel like all that is just not going to be that perfect day anymore!!! On top of this, I have been arguing with my two aunts trying to explain to them why I couldn’t have them in the wedding that it was planned in 2 day’s and they are screaming and sending me nasty text messages! All the same, my Mom and my Aunt are now into it and they are blasting nasty posts about each other on Facebook statuses!!!! I feel like everyone ruined my wedding and I have been crying every day since!!!! I can’t even enjoy this moment with my “Husband” and now I feel like I should have just listed to him, and we should have just done this with no one but us two!!!! PLEASE HELP! What should I do??? How should I fix this? Am I overreacting???? Is my big wedding still going to be “special”?