(Closed) Depressed Husband. Any advice, input? Please read.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Imbadatmakingupusernames:  this is an incredibly hard time for you too, but you seem to be doing all the right things.  Your relationship sounds really strong in spite of all of the challenges being thrown at you.  I hope his appointment puts him on the right track.

Post # 18
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Imbadatmakingupusernames:  This is such a hard situation to be in, I imagine my DH has the same problem when I go through a Depressive stage.  I’ve been suffering from major depression since I was about 15 when I got cancer. It’s just become a part of my life since then, and I try my best to be aware of where I am mood-wise, so I can openly communicate it with my husband.

I’m really glad he’s going to counseling, it really can help in a wonderful way.

One thing he needs to be careful of is just being idle in the house, alone.  I know that before I got a job over a year ago, I had nothing to do at home, and I’d just sit there with my thoughts.  It never ended well, and my depression got much worse.  Exercise, hobbies, things like that will keep this mind occupied and his mood a little better than normal.

Positive thoughts for you both, good luck!!

Post # 18
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve been through four hospitalizations for depression, and one of the best things about depression is that it is 95% treatable. My issues were multifactorial, but I pulled through and your husband can too. I probably will always have to manage my depression, but the outlook is much cheerier for him. (And it’s pretty darn cheery from where I’m sitting, too, even knowing I almost certainly will undergo another difficult bout during my life, because I also know that if I do, I’ll almost certainly come out of it, too. Plus I have some amazing ways to cope now. :D)

I’m sending you both hugs, and reassurance: this is temporary. Hard, so hard, but temporary, and manageable. It’s like malware. It tries to shut down all the systems that would normally dispatch it, but once you realize that, it’s easier to handle. You’re not trying to put in more RAM or upgrade your internet, you’re focusing on the problem itself. (Sorry. Dork here.) I’m pulling for you guys!

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