Post # 1
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
I first suffered with clinical depression at 18 (2003). I’m not really sure how it came about, my mum thinks it was to do with my A-Levels (i.e. my passports to university). I didn’t start to get better until I turned 20, I had a bit of a knockback afterwards, but generally felt better in myself not long after I met the mister.
Depression is what lead us to meeting, what lead us to being friends and eventually to being together. If I hadn’t had been so poorly with it I wouldn’t have had to repeat a year and wouldn’t have been in his class. If we both hadn’t been so sad we wouldn’t have spent hours looking after each other, making sure the other was ok and listening to each other’s problems – realising we did all of that lead us to being together. Kind of unusual story, we saw the worst bits first.
The trouble is, I’ve never been completely cured. I don’t think I ever can be. You just learn to deal with it, accept that you feel lower than other people, ‘this too shall pass’ and carry on. I have felt really down for about a week or two now. I’m struggling to hold my attention and ‘zoning out’, feeling permanently sicky – that feeling you get just before an exam, I get a heavy weight-like sensation that feels as though it’s pulling me to the ground, I want to cry most of the time, I love going dancing class and now it’s the last thing I want to do. Normally if I’m having a down episode it lasts for a couple of days. I’m petrified when it persists like this that it’s coming back.
I don’t know what to do. I want it to go away. I don’t like that I can’t focus my attention properly. I find it exhausting putting on a face for others at work all day, it gives me an awful headache that no meds could touch. I don’t have many close friends, and with work colleagues you don’t really know how some will react to you having this kind of problem.
Post # 3
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
Are you in therapy? Are you on any meds now? Just a few questions before I offer any advice.
Post # 4
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Have you considered going to a therapist? That could help you and if they can’t, they can always refer you to a psychatrist who can prescribe something for you. Just because you met when because of the depression doesn’t mean you have to continue being depressed for the rest of your life.
Post # 5
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
My advice: Meds and a therapist
Depression is not something you can kick alone. So many people have depression, yet find treatment and live a happy life. I have some mental issues myself and I know how hard it can be to just want to feel “normal”. I’m sorry. You are not alone. Get help..You don’t have to feel like this forever
((((HUGS))))))
Post # 6
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
I did meds at uni, they didn’t help me. I still felt the same but felt i could act ‘normal’ around everyone. In my opinion they were for everyone elses benefit. I went to counselling after I stopped taking meds. That helped a little. It helped me to organise things in my head, I left uni 3 years ago now so I wouldn’t have the first clue of where to go.
Post # 7
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
((Hugs)) I’m bipolar so I completely understand the depression is hard. Unfortunately it’s something that’ll never “go away” and you’re right you learn to live with it even though it sucks. My advice is, if you’re not already going to therapy then go. They can help you work through this and figure out if there’s a specific trigger (like there might hae been last time) if they think it’ll be beneficial they may refer you to a psychiatrist or other doctor who can give you the meds. Also, I suggest finding something you enjoy doing no matter what it is, it could be going to a favorite place or visiting a favorite person. Just find something you enjoy and will allow you to focus on something else. More ((Hugs)) and I hope you can get through this.
Post # 8
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee
I agree. It’s not something you just get over in a day.
Talking to a therapist would definately help. Talking, instead of holding it in, helps.
(((hugs)))
I hope things get better.
Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
I suggest going to therapy. One of my very close friends just dropped out of doing her teaching degree and has been diagnosed with clinical depression. She said the same thing as you, that the meds that her uni gave her didn’t help her but the therapy is much better.
Also, I have to commend you on picking up on the signs and wanting to do something about it. That alone speaks volumes about your strength. I can’t say that it’s going to go away entirely because I’ve never had to deal with it, but I think you’re in the best frame of mind to deal with it.
Post # 10
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree with Spraque: this is not just something you can kick alone, and although it may lessen over time, it could also get worse without help. You should really find therapist who will work with you to find the correct medications and dosages. It is so different for every person. Don’t be afraid to try different doctors until you find the one who works best for you..take control and be determined to get help and get better. Best of luck!
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